The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

You what now?

By WTF - 29/08/2023 20:00

Today, my lunatic conspiracy theorist coworker started ranting about meat bans. I rolled my eyes, but he pulled up my city's website, where they said they wanted to "phase out" meat and dairy consumption by 2030. These nuts are supposed to be wrong! What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 354

Whatever could she be talking about?

By Terrence - 12/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my sister asked me if "the worst comes to the worst" she could come and live with me here in the UK. She's in the US, and due to all the shit that's going on over there, her health insurance and job security are on the line. Weirdly, all her "yeehaw MAGA" posts have disappeared from her socials. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 177

Haunted

By Anonymous - 21/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I had my first trauma nightmare, about my classmates who had drugs planted on them so the police officers could abuse them for being queer. It's been 16 years since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 225

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 06:00

Today, I found out my daughter got married and didn’t even bother to tell anyone. She just turned up at a family get together with some random dude and introduced him as the guy she married two weeks ago while drunk. They’re now dating to see if the marriage will work out long term. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 169

Mommy's boy

By Maybe I should just not fly home... - 18/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I asked my fiancee to drive me to the airport for a business trip in a few days. She ranted angrily that she already had plans, so I asked my mom to take me instead. Now she's pissed and saying, "Why don't you just go marry your mommy, since she does everything for you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 104

You OK, bro?

By Dante - 21/05/2024 20:00 - Portugal - Povoa de Santa Iria

Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 132

Lazy day

By Fail - 17/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 318

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 47

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 120

Bitterness

By Anonymous - 07/01/2024 22:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I ran into a guy I haven't seen since high school. He started ranting about what an asshole I was for not inviting him to my birthday party when I was 12. We're 50 now, the party was cancelled because my granddad died, and we were not friends anyway, I just hung out with him as I felt sorry for him sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 119

Burned!

By nali1122 - 22/10/2019 12:00

Today, I received a text forward from a good friend inviting me to his birthday party. Jokingly, I texted back, "No. I hate you and I don't want to go to your lame party." He replied with an apology for the mix-up, because he'd accidentally sent me the invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 2 794

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex hit me up out of the blue, so I texted our mutual friend to tell them what had happened. The friend then told my ex and he got mad, ending with him texting me, “Pop quiz: When’s the last time you took a shower?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 254

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 06:00

Today, this coming January in 2024 will be our 3 year anniversary, with loads of engagement talk in the air. Even though I found, "Congrats, you've earned Tinder VIP Status !" on my boyfriend's phone from about 8 months ago. I literally feel sick to my stomach. I was also in the hospital sick when he apparently did this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 179

Mortifying

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 09:00 - United States - San Ramon

Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 190

Big Joel strikes again

By jpaylay - 10/05/2023 00:00

Today, while watching YouTube, I was drinking when something funny happened. I laughed, choked, and threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 270

Who are you?

By WTF - 12/07/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I know there's something wrong with my cat when his meowing starts to sound really weird. But just now, his meow has gotten so unusual that he actually scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an entirely different cat that got into my house before I looked back. Yeah, he's going to the vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 180

Dork

By Anonymous - 20/04/2023 03:00

Today, while watching Harry Potter, I realized I don't have any positive memories to be able to do a Patronus Charm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 277

Unionize!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 20:00

Today, I found out my wife has been sleeping with one of my employees. Now, I can divorce her no problem, but turns out I can’t fire him for personal reasons because he’s in the union. That means I have to work every day with a man who has been inside the woman I shared marriage vows with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 126

Is this another Tictac thing?

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 89

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 89

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 565

Timewaster

By DanielleinDC - 07/10/2023 17:30

Today, I learned my boss, the CEO of a multinational nonprofit, is so computer illiterate that he hadn't realized he could resize the File Explorer window on his computer, leading to days of delay of him getting work to my team, and a lot of unhappy notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 114

Birthday girl

By Lisa - 27/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Hollywood

Today, a client refused to pay for the nails I spent nearly three hours doing, because apparently it's her birthday and "you don't pay for birthday nails." She refused to pay, and we locked her inside the salon. She threw a bitch fit and rolled on the ground like a worm, kicking and screaming until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 72

Self report

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 14:00 - Norway - Drammen

Today, when going to bed after a night of heavy drinking, my boyfriend told me he was in love with his cousin, and that she’s way prettier than me. Later in the morning, he said it was just "drunk talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 105

No time to lose

By Atma - 02/07/2023 03:00

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 236

Denied

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 22:00

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 155

What's going on?

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend by cleaning the entire house while she was at work. I even lit incense to make it extra special. When she came home, she walked in, sniffed, and immediately accused me of "cheating or something" because "only guilt makes you clean this much." She also blamed me for adding more dust by burning incense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 97

Archeology

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 72

Carpe diem, yeah?

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was chatting to a girl in the chemist's and was about to ask her to go for coffee when the chemist came out of the back room and asked me loudly if the rash was only on my genitals or if it had spread further. FYI the chemist is my uncle and he was joking. I didn’t end up asking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 113

By fever15 - 25/04/2011 13:16 - Koweït

Today, my boyfriend’s mom begged me to not leave him before we graduate. After that, I have her blessing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 53

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Ecology Health Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 460

You deserved it 34 672

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 418

You deserved it 3 469

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 498

You deserved it 3 986

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 776

You deserved it 4 030

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 733

You deserved it 6 404

Today, I learned that weed brownie plus weed gummies leads to me drooling… on my ex-husband’s cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 2 458