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Send 'em in anyway

By mega_bite - 25/08/2021 10:01 - India

Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 311

Oversharing while drunk? Nah

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 08:01

Today, after my roommate and I, as well as our significant others, had some drinks, then we started listing off/counting our past sexual partners. It got to a point where his girlfriend and I both had multipliers of 10 times that of our partners. They kicked us both out, and she didn’t offer me a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 1 365

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 06:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 273

Don't know, don't care

By Fuck you too, Grandma - 25/05/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that on my graduation day, the reason she (and my dad) almost didn't show up was because they had to spend almost an hour convincing my grandma to attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 121

Coming and going

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 06:00 - Pakistan

Today, my fiance of 6 years, who was estranged for 10 months during which time our wedding was naturally called off, came back, and after much convincing got a second chance. Within two weeks of taking it slow, he asked if I had been faithful after he'd abandoned me. A "yes" wasn't enough. He's disappeared again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 312

By Anonymous - 01/01/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 54

Well hello sinners…

By Yesenia - 02/09/2023 14:00

Today, I learned that ever since I got a tattoo, my mother had edited her will, said I was no longer her daughter, and took me out of it. While my sister got a payout, I basically missed out all because of a small tattoo of a flower on my ankle. I’m a single struggling starving mom. She knew this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 511

Messy

By Danielle Heichelbech - 15/11/2020 20:01

Today my 28-year-old husband got bored while cleaning the car. So he decided to stage a "crumb sacrifice to the vacuum gods" to "ensure a bountiful harvest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 320

Wobbly

By Mari - 08/08/2021 20:01 - United States - South Lake Tahoe

Today, my 5-year-old got his first loose tooth, which reminded me that loose teeth give me the worst freaking heebie-jeebies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 187

Just a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 05:02 - United States - Kirkland

Today my brother disconnected my internet and made my task bar disappear. I spent 2 hours trying to fix it, when I figured out I just had to restart the computer. Now I'm a little behind on assignments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 316

Sign your name across my…?

By bitchonia - 28/03/2020 17:00 - Canada

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he'd think of me getting his initials tattooed over my heart. "That's awesome, babe," he answered enthusiastically. "But could you get them on your ass instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 1 645

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 118

Usually a bad omen

By Karen - 21/05/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 109

Healthy life goals

By cuz803 - 07/04/2023 14:00

Today, after a month and a half of recovering from a sprained ankle, I was back in the gym training. After a grueling, sweaty session on the treadmill, I tripped walking down the stairs which sprained my other ankle. Back to round one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 162

The gift that keeps on giving

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00

Today, it's been a few weeks since I had my first sexual experience in 6 years following my divorce. It was with a woman I’ve known for years. We get on amazingly, more than me and my ex ever did. She’s sweet, sexy, funny, amazing in bed, and even likes Xbox. Unfortunately she also gave me Scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 202

Whassup?

By Anonymous - 27/02/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 220

Time for a dirty protest

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boss if he was getting temp workers to cover the three ladies from my office on maternity for at least the next two years. He laughed at my fine joke, then said my office will just have to cope. I’m the only member of that office left. I have to do the work of four people for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 141

Sharkeisha, no

By TIlly - 23/02/2021 14:01

Today, after seeing an old viral video on YouTube, my boyfriend started calling me Sharkeisha. Our friends thought he was implying that I'm violent with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 129

DIABEETUS

By Diabeetus - 21/08/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, after finding out that my mom is diabetic last year in November, this July a good friend of mine died from diabetes. I also found out that my dad is diabetic, as well as my grandma. It would appear that Wilford Brimley hates my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 132

Acceptance

By tokenTrans - 20/02/2023 17:00 - United States - Thurmont

Today, like many other days, I'm too scared to correct people calling me "ma'am" at work because I live in a small, ignorant town where I've already been harassed and threatened for daring to be trans. I've already had a friend tell me I look nothing like a chick, so what's the deal with customers? FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 795

Chilly season

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, I'm neither tall, nor do I have disproportionately long legs, but I have never found a pair of leggings that actually covers my entire calves, which is less than ideal if the reason you buy leggings in the first place is to wear them under your pants in winter so you don’t get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 137

Entitled much?

By r/entitledparents material right here - 06/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, a woman came up to me at a restaurant and asked if her autistic son could borrow my headphones. I agreed, but when they were leaving and I asked for them back, she accused me of trying to steal MY headphones that she BORROWED from me. If not for other people backing me up, I would have lost them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 177

Bad hair day

By Hairdresser On Fire - 01/10/2019 18:05 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I mistook a little girl for a boy. Unfortunately, I only realised my mistake until after I'd cut her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 1 913

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 140

You made your bed…

By Anonymous - 01/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I’m being blamed for being an unsupportive wife and breaking up the family after I left my husband. Let’s see: he was cheating, she got him hooked on heroin, he now has a crippling addiction, and he cleaned out our shared bank account. How the fuck should I support that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 71

Suspicious

By SEND HELP - 10/11/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 202

Familiar

By Looks familiar - 13/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker asked me for advice for a clever comeback after she got an unsolicited dick pic. I sent her some zingers to roast the creep into oblivion. Afterward she sent me screenshots. I recognized the mole and birthmark immediately. It was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 142

Vampire mode

By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 10:00

Today, my doctor put me on a new medication that came with the warning to stay out of the sun. I live in the desert and my country is having the highest temperatures recorded ever in human history. Guess I should stock up on white, long sleeve shirts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 140

Night terror

By Help - 25/02/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially at the point where I would do literally anything to have a pleasant dream, or at least one that's not absolutely fucking terrifying. I now know where the irrational fear of sleeping comes from. Anxiety can go fuck a duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 127

Kids these days…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 15:00

Today, as a nurse, I had to tell a 15 year-old girl that her red, sore asscrack was caused by consistently not wiping her ass properly. Seriously, when I examined her there was still poop, even though she swore she wiped this morning. I had to teach her how to do it properly, at 15 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 132

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The Top

Today, I finally said yes to a date with a guy. I was hesistant due to him being quite a bit younger than me. On our date, he dabbed 27 times. Yes, I actually kept count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 582

You deserved it 1 144

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 683

You deserved it 2 079

Today, as I woke up, the first thing I saw was a bee on my hand. I tried not to make the slightest move, waiting for it to fly away without stinging me. The second thing I saw was my cat jumping at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 453

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years responded to my opening up about how I felt like I was always put on the back burner, was to ghost me for a week, and break up via text. Don't worry though, we can still be friends and maybe later, when he's ready, start the relationship again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 212

Today, my boyfriend said that the reason I crave affection so bad is because I’m an only child so I got “all my parents attention”. My mom worked nights my whole life and slept while I was home. I barely got 1-2 hours a week of her attention at the maximum and she usually used that time to read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 128

You deserved it 134

Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 122