The Top

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Bad boy

By naughty boy - 09/10/2025 20:00

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my dog, hoping they’d get along. I told my boyfriend, “Don’t worry, he never jumps on anyone.” Immediately, my dog jumped, not onto my boyfriend but right into my lap, knocking my glass of red wine all over my trousers. My boyfriend patted the dog and said, “At least someone’s happy to see you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 111

Long day, long ride home

By Jennette - 13/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 109

One liner

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 15:00

Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 128

Unstable weather

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 15:00

Today, as a giant crowd of people and I had walked across a parking lot, I yelled out to a friend waiting in their car for me, "I DIDN'T FALL THIS TIME!" (I always fall when it's winter) to then literally taking a single step to slip and slide what felt like 20 feet to someone yelling out, "AND SAFE!" like an umpire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 174

Get cracking

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I arrived early in the morning at my job counting inventory, only to find that the scanner machines were still getting set up due to difficulties with WiFi. We ended up starting two hours late due to various technical issues, and I almost missed my sister's recital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 49

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 85

2020 called…

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 22:00

Today, my dad went to urgent care because what all of us thought was a passing cold got worse. It wasn't a cold; it was that new vaccine-resistant flu variant, and neither he or I wore masks the day before when we had to go to my physical therapist. We were sitting right next to each other for at least 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 143

Duly noted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2026 22:00 - United States - DeLand

Today, my boss watched me get my waistband hooked on a safety hazard in the warehouse. She included it in the safety report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 91

"The report of my death was an exaggeration"

By Luke Mackay - 03/05/2026 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my local pub for a drink. There was a giant sign that read, “Welcome to Luke’s celebration of life.” My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 110

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 18/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, after my landlord announced a "surprise" apartment inspection, I spent the entire night cleaning every room, scrubbing the oven, and organizing closets. The inspector walked in, looked around for 20 seconds, checked for a smoke detector, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 184

In slow motion

By Anonymous - 20/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I volunteered to take a group photo at a birthday dinner, backed up for the perfect angle, and sat directly in a bowl of guacamole. Everyone watched it happen like a slow motion accident. No one warned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 128

Doordash off

By I hate my life - 24/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Clarksville

Today, driving for a food delivery app, I had a perfectly stacked order: drinks secure, food hot, great timing. I hit the brakes too hard at a light and watched in horror as one soda tipped, leaked and soaked the bottom of the bag. I delivered a soggy lukewarm meal, and an apologetic explanation. The customer said “It’s OK” in a tone that meant it’s absolutely not OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 217

Better happy and fat

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 03:00

Today, I've zero motivation to even live life. I've stopped doing even the little things I like. My husband tries hard to cheer me up and keep things going, but I just want to curl into a ball and die. I'm too scared to take depression medication as it makes me fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 363

Great first impression

By Chilled - 17/12/2025 22:00

Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 119

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 75

Lonesome tonight

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 20:00

Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 269

New tech

By Anne - 28/06/2026 22:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I finally convinced my grandpa to try a smartphone. After an hour of teaching him how to text, he announced he'd figured it out on his own. The first message he ever sent was meant for me. It went to his pharmacist instead and simply read, "Love you. Thanks for everything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 67

Having a bad day?

By Anonymous - 13/09/2025 22:00

Today, one of my dogs spilled half my coffee at home. My other dog drank the rest of it. Went to Starbucks later, picked my coffee up off the counter, and the lid popped off, spilling all over the counter, floor and my hand. While they were making me a new one, I dropped my sandwich on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 155

Custody battles

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 00:00

Today, my ex-wife has teamed up with my ex-girlfriend. Both are mentally ill. I have to have another custody fight and dispel lies because of their delusions. I just want to be left in peace. Instead, I have to have a death match for my 6 year-old daughter. Why does it have to be her or me? Why can’t it be both? FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 199

Whoops

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 20:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took a car out for a test drive to investigate a mysterious clunking noise. I heard the exact sound the customer had described, and then realized a wrench had been left on top of the engine and had slipped down and got caught near the battery. I had to come back and explain that the issue had been a skill issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 94

Dark times

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 00:00

Today, I watched as one of the few US governors willing to resist Donald Trump's ICE (aka Gestapo) rolled over and surrendered, letting the cops ransack protests with impunity. I feel sick. I tried to buy a gun but was denied because of mental health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 682

Special day

By LockedOut - 28/04/2026 12:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my husband and I sent our kids out with family and had the house to ourselves after ages. We had awesome sex. I wanted to cuddle while he wanted to take me out to a restaurant to enjoy our day. We argued, he won, and while we left our home arguing, we locked ourselves outside. The locksmith was costly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 186

Don't tread on me

By Unfit - 19/07/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, I bought a used treadmill and set it up in my room. I switched it on, it made one heroic whir, died before I could even get on it, then it tripped the fuse box. I was left in the dark, holding a sneaker, while my roommate upstairs yelled, “Is that normal? What've you done this time?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 104

Many such cases!

By Dementia?? - 17/07/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into a room and completely forgot why I was there. I then left, remembered why, walked back in, and immediately forgot again. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to undergo cognitive tests or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 74

Kinda impressive

By Dan the man - 08/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 144

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 87

Tyrannical

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I got to sports practice 30 seconds late and got kicked out for "poor time management". FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 189

Good vibes

By julia - 04/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a fight over moving boxes. It started with screaming and ended with, “I hate you and hope you feel unloved for the rest of your life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 95

Stolen valor

By running girl - 29/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I was signed up for a local 10K run after months of saying I'd "get back into running." Everything went well until I crossed the finish line and proudly accepted a medal… that belonged to someone standing behind me. She had to tap on my shoulder and ask for it back while other runners and volunteers smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 149

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 157

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The Top

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 663

You deserved it 2 039

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 125

You deserved it 4 478

Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 807

You deserved it 20 850

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to the sound of my cat puking up a hairball. This is the second year in a row he has done this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 305

Today, my mother-in-law constantly threatens to commit suicide, unless my husband pays her bills. He told me I don’t care about his happiness because I told him he can’t keep giving in to her guilt trips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 121

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 586