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By MrsRockyHorror - 15/03/2010 08:11 - United States

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 196

You deserved it 7 737

You really shouldn't have

By ParentsSleepingOnMyCouch - 13/02/2024 09:00 - United States - Renton

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 112

Need more details, please

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 00:01 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I fucked up a relationship, by accident, and then they broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 735

It's not you, it's me

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 22:00

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 181

That joke isn't funny anymore

By EllenD - 15/02/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my boss caught me singing and dancing in the office when I thought no one was around. Trying to save face, I told him I was just practicing for a team-building event. He smiled and said, "Great, you can lead the next one." Now I have to choreograph a team-building dance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 721

Classic case of the Mondays

By testuser - 18/08/2025 12:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I spilled coffee on myself and now my brand new shirt is ruined, and I have to go to an important meeting immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 252

It's all subjective

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a beginners’ painting class. She and everyone else was able to produce a painting significantly better than mine, and I got laughed at for my lack of skill. I’ve been painting for twenty-five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 210

Human interface

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 550

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 06:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 173

Losing it

By Anonymous - 30/08/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just like my mother, except she got hers in her 70’s after she lived a life. Mine is early onset so I’m losing my mind in my 30’s and I’ve done nothing with my life except work to afford rent and my next meal. I don’t even have a wife or kids damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 90

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 922

You deserved it 60 321

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 20:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 230

"Probably"?

By alannj03 - 03/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm considering faking my death in order to get out of my relationship. My girlfriend got in a car accident that left her disfigured, and I no longer find her attractive. I met someone at work who's a better fit for me. I know I'm probably an asswipe, but is it wrong to want a partner whom I'm attracted to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 990

Nutso

By space_cadet90818 - 08/03/2010 00:16 - United States

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 601

You deserved it 2 937

Dead man walking

By what did i do to deserve this - 03/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I crossed the street at a crosswalk and someone in a big pickup truck swerved to try to hit me. This has happened to me multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 119

Temptation… barbecue?

By being loyal sucks - 05/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a colleague's house for a barbecue. Another colleague's wife was there, and when I say there were sparks between us, there were SPARKS! Later, her husband discreetly informed me that they're in an open relationship. I just wish I didn't have my boring unadventurous wife at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 823

The topic at hand

By Frustrated Student - 30/10/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a group project with three other people who spent the whole period trying to figure out how old the teacher was. Good news: They came to the conclusion that he must be around 35-40 years old. Bad news: we are gonna have a hard time finishing this project if they don't pull their weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 106

BFF

By Ash - 08/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my best friend, who I speak to pretty much all day, every single day, started dating someone and blocked and ghosted me. I guess my only close friend wasn't such a good friend after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 76

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I decided I'd sell an old motorcycle I had, in order to help with the bills. I had to be at work at the time when an interested buyer was to show up, so I entrusted my mother with the exchange as she's unemployed. Mom pocketed the money and bought a new freezer for her house, and won't pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 128

Paparazzo

By Paulalala - 10/09/2025 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to take a photo of the guy next to me on the bus because he looked like one of the actors in Harry Potter. My flash went off, and the picture was so close-up it looked like I was documenting his acne. He glared at me for the rest of the ride, which was short because I got off at the next stop, nowhere near my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 573

Employee of the week

By Nathalieeeee - 13/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 180

Wobbly

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 424

Crossroads

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 02:00

Today, I had to face the fact that although I’ve been married for almost 2 years, my dream girl has come into my life and wants a relationship. I don’t know how to break it off with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 1 704

Bye bye doggie

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, our chocolate Labrador ran away. My dad adopted it because he really wanted a hunting dog, promising he'd be in charge of its training and feeding. I ended up getting saddled with that instead. The dog was so hyper it was untrainable, and dad blamed me when it burst out of its kennel and bolted into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 137

Unreasonable

By Fuck off, teacher - 17/03/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I've been making extremely good progress in my online class. Or at least… I was, until the deadline to complete it was suddenly pushed a whole month forward, causing me to be "behind." Then my teacher had the nerve to email me, telling me I needed to catch up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 120

In my way

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog while carrying groceries. As I laid on the floor surrounded by smashed eggs, spilled milk, and a bruised knee, my dog stole the bread from the bag and and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 118

Slacking

By Anonymous - 17/03/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss asked about Anime because her new boyfriend is obsessed with it and she wants to understand. I was showing her some classics like Fullmetal Alchemist and One Piece when she was called away, leaving me with anime on my work computer. My manager then saw it and gave me a written warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 169

Blasphemy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 12:00

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 383

Own it!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 503

People are not doing OK right now

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 12:00

Today, my mom cried while watching the Charlie Kirk memorial on TV. She has been sharing terrible AI videos on social media with the guy saying stuff he never said when he was alive. She didn't cry at all when my dad, her husband of 28 years, died, or even during his funeral. She barely even mentions him at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 113

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The Top

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 003

You deserved it 5 212

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 266

You deserved it 4 039

Today, in our microbiology lab, there's a machine called bacteria incubator, which translates to Arabic as "bacteria hugger." I envied the bacteria because it gets hugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 258

Today, our 9 year-old son managed to shoot himself in the gut with my nail gun. According to my wife, this is completely my fault, because I ONLY kept it in my locked garage, ONLY secured in its box, ONLY completely disconnected from the power, ONLY on the highest shelf near the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 159

Today, I got tired of my cat trying to open the bag that contains his food when he literally has food in his bowl, so I put the bag on a high shelf he can't reach. Since then, he's been giving me all sorts of dirty looks whenever we're in the same room, to try and make me feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 299

Today, my mom spent an hour lecturing me on how I'm a doormat who lets people walk all over me, and that I needed to be more assertive. So I stood up and told my dad, no, I am not going on that forestry camp he wants me to go to. Mom sat silently by as he screamed and grounded me for the entire summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 119