Anonymous
Thousand Oaks, United States
Custom job
Today, my toddler threw up on my one week old pair of white shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, in an attempt to potty train my 2-year-old, I sat her on the toilet and waited for several minutes. I finally gave up and lifted her off the toilet just in time for her to pee on my new shoes. FML
anon
Smells like Toddler Spirit
Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML
awkward drunk
Canada
Today, while trying to act sober in front of my parents when I got home, I threw up on my mom's shoe. FML
Anonymous
Sights, sounds, smells
Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML
Anonymous
Mix and match
Today, as I was getting ready for church, I couldn't decide between my black or white shoes. I put one of each on, then my son started crying. Fast forward, I'm at church, I look down and I'm wearing one white shoe and one black shoe. FML
Anonymous
Nashville, United States
Chain reaction
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
Felinefine
South Petherton, United Kingdom
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Ewyucky
Wilberforce, Canada
Who gave him that?
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Shoeless
United States
Black out
Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML
Bob
United States
Today, while teaching at a daycare, a child came up to me and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Obviously, I said it was fine. He then pulled his pants down, and pee on my brand new shoes, and all over my leg. FML
Top comments
DLBL 23
Sorry to hear that. You may discover that when you have kids, you can't have anything nice. A locked cabinet for precious items might be a good investment. I'm thinking for Great-gramma's china, nice jewelry, old photographs, white shoes, etc.
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Comments (1)
DLBL 23
Sorry to hear that. You may discover that when you have kids, you can't have anything nice. A locked cabinet for precious items might be a good investment. I'm thinking for Great-gramma's china, nice jewelry, old photographs, white shoes, etc.