Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML
Today, my dad took my son out of his will, so I confronted him. Turns out he has a new policy of “not rewarding dumb behaviour.” He’s willing to put him back in the will, if he ever scores over 120 on an IQ test. I love my son, but he’s a happy goldfish, 120 is just never happening. FML
Today, I’m ready to quit my job. An evil Karen became so enraged that I couldn’t let her use food stamps to pay for pet food that she launched a can right into my face. They called the cops and I had to give a statement, while holding an ice pack against my swollen, bleeding eyebrow. FML
Today, my aunt asked me to bring photos to a family dinner, so I put them all on a USB stick. After dinner, everyone sat around the TV while I plugged it in. The first photo that appeared was a screenshot of my ex's most recent Instagram story. FML
Today, I have the perfect life. The best husband, two well behaved kids, a well paying job, and a happy home. But I just pick random fights with my husband, instigating him into shouting for no reason. I guess I want problems to be happy. My whole soul wants peace, except my stupid brain and hormones. FML
Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML
Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML
Today, I found out I got HIV. I’ve used condoms with all my Tinder hookups and never shared needles or anything with anyone. I was supposed to have a Tinder date tonight. Guess I’ll just be single forever then. FML
Today, I went through another breakup. This will be my fourth in two years. None of them could handle or accept that I'm still best friends with my ex-husband, who is actually gay. FML
Today, I found out that I might need to get my gallbladder removed, due to the rapid weight loss I've had since having a gastric balloon put in. This is on top of all the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramping so bad it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. I'm only 2 months in, with another 2 months to go. FML
Today, thanks to my son leaving his sharpened colouring pencils all over the sofa before I sat down, I had to go to hospital with a deep hole poked in my left testicle. I always suspected he didn’t want younger siblings but this is going too far. FML
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, I'd booked a table at a restaurant for my parents’ anniversary but when we arrived, the staff couldn’t find the reservation. I checked my confirmation email and realized I’d booked it for the following evening. We did find a less classy restaurant nearby, but can't get my deposit back from the other place. FML
Today, it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. My stepmom decided that since I’m not unusually sad or crying, it must mean I didn’t care that my own mom is dead, and am therefore a psychopath. Anniversaries mean nothing to me. FML
Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML
Today, as a wedding gift, my in-laws signed ownership of the family cafe over to us so they could retire abroad. I looked into the cafe's financials, and it's £115,000 in debt, with a bailiffs high court writ on it. This could ruin us just as we’re starting our married life together. FML
Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML
Supersonic323 tells us more.
OK, I'm the OP, let me explain why I fell for it: -I had very recently received invitations to join two legit honor societies (one I was just inducted to tonight at a formal ceremony at my school, the other has regular meetings and community service projects) -Believe it or not, I do actually have a 4.0 GPA as a junior and miscellaneous other qualifications, so being "accepted" to this honor society didn't seem to be a stretch or anything -As I'm ridiculously busy right now, I didn't Google it first or even look too deeply at their website, I just quickly completed the "application" (you go on their website, apply, and then wait to hear from them) which was free Once I actually got the "acceptance" I called my mom and told her about it. I got off the phone with her and Googled it to get more info about it (I'd never heard of it) and discovered it was a scam. I'm glad I did so because their "initiation fee" was 68 bucks, and I hadn't given them credit card info or anything yet. Obviously I felt stupid; I called my mom back a second later and told her. I'm just glad I didn't COMPLETELY fall for it... lol. I should have taken more time at the start, but #22 is right; I'm just lucky I didn't lose 68. I lost 10 minutes of time and a chunk of my pride. :P I was also pretty pissed/disappointed, but it's OK; I'm in two ACTUAL honor societies, so whatever... I don't need a fake one. ;)
Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML
Today, despite feeling rubbish due to chronic illness, I got up and dressed for uni. When I got to the train station, I decided to sit on the closest bench to wait. It would’ve been nice if I’d seen the bright blue chewing gum some feral child had left behind before my butt found it. FML
Today, I told my brother a story about something I did a couple weeks ago. When I'd finished, he laughed and asked, "What grade were you in when you did that?" I'm 45 years-old and I haven't been in any "grade" since I was 17. FML
Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML
Today, while still on a month of bed rest from a recent surgery, I started developing a fever from a booster shot. FML
Today, I had a dream I saw my dad. I tried to talk to him, but then I woke up. He died last Monday. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was normal until we flew abroad to meet his family. He got in a fist fight with his brother, which their mother told me is just how they get along, and that I’d get used to it. Minutes later they were laughing, icing their bruises and sharing beers. Totally normal, right? FML
Today, my hair is so long hair that it touches my shoulders now. My father attempted to bribe me into cutting my hair several times. I'm 30. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my apartment, and in a panic, I tried using a credit card to open the door like I'd seen in movies and stuff. Instead of opening the door, I broke my card in half. I then had to call my landlord, who showed up an hour later and said, "Wow, you really tried to break into your own house, huh?" FML
Today, I found out my oldest brother is getting married in two weeks. I heard about it through one of my two sisters, who pretty much helped end his last marriage, and who he hasn’t spoken to in 3 years. She wanted to complain about the invite taking so long. I still haven’t been invited, and I thought we were on good terms. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend's future sister-in-law ask him not to bring me to the wedding. Apparently, me being so much shorter than everyone else is "embarrassing" and "would make the pictures look weird." FML
Today, and for the past month, my younger sibling has been having suicidal thoughts. This is causing our parents to put them on a pedestal and treat them like a princess. They’ve made me give them my money to get themselves treats and they don’t even get what they say they’re going to get. FML
Today, I'm a third-year college student. Between classes Monday-Thursday and a part-time job from Friday-Sunday, checking my work schedule for November has revealed that I do not have ONE SINGLE DAY OFF IN NOVEMBER. Literally in classes 4 days a week, working the other 3. I'm actually going to die. FML
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