The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By jamalinho - 11/05/2011 17:51 - Bangladesh

Today, I worked 12 long hours cooped up in my office. Before leaving, my boss asked me whether I'll ever take my job seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 779

You deserved it 3 422

By DjeePee - 07/03/2012 10:28 - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 588

You deserved it 6 425

DjeePee tells us more.

DjeePee 24

Wednesday 7 March 2012 17:43

A lot of things, I suppose. I don't mind whether he's pissing near me or not, as long as I don't have to watch his piss reaching my feet when it's too late to run away, it's alright.

By conley19 - 15/09/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 285

You deserved it 4 814

Adding insult to insult

By Ugh - 25/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 122

Breakups are hard

By majestic09 - 29/12/2023 15:00 - United States - Round Rock

Today, and for the last three months, I’ve felt super incompatible with my therapist, but I don’t know how to fire her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 448

Movie night

By Billie - 01/07/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went on a first date with a guy who insisted we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling wary of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was there for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 97

By frgn8r - 31/05/2010 11:59 - Australia

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 171

You deserved it 35 989

Workout

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, my fitness tracker congratulated me on reaching 10,000 steps. Feeling slightly proud of myself for sticking to my health goals, I went to bed early, only to find out it was counting the steps I took pacing around, trying to find my lost keys for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 311

By legit - 02/03/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 220

You deserved it 46 952

Bad trip

By Gaddz - 06/07/2025 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went on a first time trip to Portland to meet some new friends I had planned to see months before for 4th of July weekend. The trip ended on the first day when I was goaded into taking drugs that made me alienate all of them. I was practically chased back to the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 642

Difficult

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 20:01

Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 130

Can't win

By Anonymous - 07/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 278

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 11/09/2022 12:30 - Belgium

Today, after I'd left my former job because of burnout for another job, where they'd said handling call time wasn't important, my new employer demands to fill in every day during the week how much time I spent on each task and calls, bathroom or coffee breaks, as "waste-time", and we need to fill in how much time we "wasted" pissing or shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 148

Sabotage

By Anonymous - 09/01/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my ex tries to ruin my dates, and constantly asks our friend about me and why I don’t talk to her. She broke up with me over text because of the distance between us, after ghosting me for two weeks. We both knew that it would be a long-distance relationship due to her going to uni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 107

Grossed out

By eww David - 06/07/2021 02:01

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 158

Sprain in the ass

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 16:02

Today, after two months of recovering from a sprained ankle, the doctor told me I was fully healed. On the way to my car from the doctor's, I stepped on some leaves, which were covering a small hole. A hole big enough for me to trip on and give me another sprained ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 127

By ihatelaura - 15/05/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 5 633

ULPT

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 661

You deserved it 7 902

By thisrllysucks - 05/09/2009 14:16 - United States

Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 728

You deserved it 10 672

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 800

By bubblezzz123 - 04/09/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 391

You deserved it 5 725

Diagnosis unconfirmed

By Anonymous - 23/09/2022 21:30

Today, I've been suffering from unbearable headache, fever, agonizing body pain for more than ten days. I took a COVID test, an antibiotic tablets course, even a dengue test. Finally after spending my entire bank balance on tests and MRI, it was diagnosed as a migraine - which went away with a single tablet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 301

Double standards

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 161

By I should have kept my mouth shut - 23/01/2013 01:35 - United States - Davis

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 853

You deserved it 4 620

Fresh!

By prettysmellingbedroom - 15/02/2012 14:18 - United States

Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 077

You deserved it 25 215

Nice guys

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 04:01

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend handed me this month’s rental statement with “Paid” written in red ink. He says it’s my gift, because, "that shit adds up every month" and I should be "grateful" that I have a roof over my head for another month instead of being "materialistic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 520

By unicorn_skies - 18/01/2014 08:33 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 604

You deserved it 57 817

They grow up so fast these days…

By Katie Howard - 29/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 85

Rivalry

By todd - 01/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got fired from her job for arguing with her female coworker. I found out from a mutual friend that the reason they were arguing was because they were fighting over "a hot male coworker" who hooked up with the female coworker. I think I need to leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 119

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 126

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 040

You deserved it 2 187

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 430

You deserved it 6 786

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 433

You deserved it 4 698

Today, I went for dinner and bowling with a woman I met online. The Mexican food was great but my bowels started feeling it during our first game. I slipped on the bowling lane and the impact of my ass hitting the ground made me shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 489

You deserved it 531

Today, a man with one eye and a severely disfigured face accosted me at the grocery store. What started as a question about my shirt became an explanation for why he looks the way he does: He took a shotgun blast to the face. I didn't ask about or even draw attention to his appearance. Sweet dreams for me tonight! FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 121

Today, I really like my job and need it for sustenance. Despite that, my brain constantly finds ways to screw up my job. Outside of work, all my friends refer to me as "The Genius" or the "brilliant one". But at work, I'm a dunce. Why brain, why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 190