The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

MeAgainDr · 7 August 2023, 22:00 ·Perth, Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Caught in the act

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 You deserved it 825

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Sata · 15 January 2025, 09:00 ·Abbotsford, Canada

Snappy

Today, I decided to use a newer purse because my old one was ripped. When I got off the bus, the automatic back doors closed on me before I could get fully out, and my new purse got ripped too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409 You deserved it 114

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Don'tComplimentTheCrazies · 2 September 2026, 09:00 ·Denver, United States

Cool your boots, Janet

Today, HR wants to see me about an email where my boss asks me to respect her body. My offense? I asked if she bought a new shirt during a web meeting with our small team. We've worked together for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378 You deserved it 71

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Anonymous · 5 February 2025, 09:00 ·Syracuse, United States

With friends like these…

Today, I found out that the reason all my former friends believed a bunch of rumors about me was because the person they were hearing them from was my former roommate. For two years I wondered why they didn't just ask me, now I know it's because they thought if anyone would know the truth, it would be her. UGH. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 80

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Anonymous · 7 June 2022, 02:00

Nine inch nails

Today, mere hours after getting my knee out of plaster and walking normally again, I stepped on a giant nail, which went through my shoe and came out of the top of my foot. Surgery on the splintered bone, bandages, and no putting weight on it for at least 2 weeks. Here I go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 20 September 2026, 15:00 ·Charlotte, United States

No friends, no problems

Today, I tried to overcome my crippling social anxiety and isolation by joining a club at the campus I attend remotely. Two girls at my table whispered and giggled the entire time, and one of them kept popping her lips like Donkey in the carriage scene in Shrek every few seconds. I left early with a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310 You deserved it 89

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Anonymous · 25 September 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Mixed messenging

Today, I was told off by my dad and stepmom for talking to the delivery person delivering my package. My stepmom's reason was understandable, because I was "slowing her down and she was on the clock", my dad's ridiculous reason was that I could get ripped off. This was AFTER I bought my products, not before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283 You deserved it 99

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Glen · 26 February 2025, 00:00 ·Ooty, India 🌶️ Spicy

Mixed emotions

Today, my girlfriend of 5 months walked in on me naked while I was on the toilet. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to watch me taking a dump. I'm both shocked and too hard to do what she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425 You deserved it 167

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Plugged · 4 March 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Plug me in

Today, I found out that when you put Kleenex up your nose to stop it from constantly draining snot, it is possible for it to rip and get stuck in your nose when you try to take it out. Words cannot describe how incredibly uncomfortable that was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270 You deserved it 300

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Anonymous · 11 October 2026, 22:00 ·Detroit, United States

Zooming

Today, I joined a video call five minutes early and started checking my emails while I waited. Someone said, “You're already sharing your screen.” I'd accidentally shown everyone my inbox for the first five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 You deserved it 354

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Anonymous · 9 March 2025, 20:00 ·Canada

I'm done

Today, I was using a public restroom when the lights suddenly turned off. Panicking, I waved my arms around, trying to trigger the motion sensor, but nothing happened. I had to finish in the dark, and as I was leaving, the janitor noticed me, turned the lights back on, and said, “Yeah, I turned those off earlier to save power. Hope you were OK in there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 457 You deserved it 94

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Marcus · 10 April 2021, 02:00 ·Norway

Thanks dude

Today, I was driving to work when I had to abruptly brake to avoid a pedestrian who had suddenly jumped into the street. As a consequence, my parking ID was pushed in between the dashboard and the windshield. It is literally impossible to get it out before my shift starts. In other words, I'm going to get fined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 156

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Anonymous · 18 March 2025, 20:00 ·Alberton, South Africa

Pissed

Today, I went to the movies with some friends. During the movie, I really needed to pee but didn’t want to disturb anyone. So, I waited and waited. Finally, I couldn’t hold it anymore and bolted to the bathroom… only to get locked out of the theater in the process. The staff had to escort me back in during the end credits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 27 October 2026, 09:00 ·Saskatoon, Canada

Pay attention

Today, I got so distracted by trying to keep my cat from sticking her nose in the open oven door, that I grabbed the hot pan without an oven mitt. Now I can’t use my right hand. My cat’s nose is fine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250 You deserved it 114

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Anonymous · 9 October 2023, 22:00

Come again?

Today, I was having a conversation with my husband when our daughter walked in and shouted at us, “For god's sake, will you two either stop shouting or buy some fucking hearing aids.” That’s when we realised we might be going deaf, given that we've been saying “Pardon?” or “What?” without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661 You deserved it 272

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Garage: 1 Me: 0 · 11 October 2023, 10:00 ·United States

Get bent

Today, my old ass garage door got bent while I was trying to close it. I broke nearly all of my fingernails trying to force it back into place. Time to get a new garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 You deserved it 126

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Rich · 26 April 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

New friend

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272 You deserved it 184

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Anonymous · 30 April 2025, 15:00 ·Cork, Ireland

Should be safe… right?

Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491 You deserved it 105

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Dee-Nice · 17 May 2025, 12:00 ·Phoenix, United States

Rough week

Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505 You deserved it 76

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FML Approved · 30 October 2017, 19:30 ·New York, United States

Story of my life...

Slides are difficult for everyone, right?

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 110

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Anonyme · 21 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Daily struggle

Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498 You deserved it 78

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I hate my life · 2 December 2023, 06:00 ·United States

We're in Hell

Today, the company I work for is now under new ownership. Somehow, this set off a series of events that resulted in the best boss I've ever had being effectively fired. I'm badly disabled, and she was the only thing stopping me from experiencing rampant ableism at work. I may be jobless again very soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565 You deserved it 144

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Anonymous · 16 June 2025, 00:00 ·Boise, United States

He has a type

Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386 You deserved it 114

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Broke boy · 26 June 2025, 20:00 ·United States

What happened next?

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 411 You deserved it 126

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Learn to read people · 5 January 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Red tape bullcrap

Today, my kids and I starved during the holidays because of the incompetent case workers at the food stamp office. I was denied because according to them, I make $1200 a week of unemployment. They put what I make monthly as weekly on their end. Their apology? “Sorry, you have to apply again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 684 You deserved it 260

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Aracrifice98 · 3 July 2021, 01:59

Ouch

Today, the day after saying that I'd never broken a bone, I snapped my fibula in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821 You deserved it 144

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Anonymous · 18 July 2025, 00:00 ·San Diego, United States

My love language is gibberish

Today, I tried to sweet talk my crush by texting them in Spanish using Google Translate. I wanted to say, “You look amazing today,” but it translated to something like, “Your fish smells weird today.” They responded with a confused emoji and “¿Qué?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 You deserved it 387

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Debz · 24 July 2025, 09:00 ·Seattle, United States

Harness your hopes

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 18 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Work husbands and wives…

Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245 You deserved it 361

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TackyApparently · 18 October 2022, 04:00

Asshat invasion

Today, the block where I work had mandatory all-storefront works. I had to be there. The workers asked me for my ladder, cord extensions, driller, complained for 4 hours, and didn't clean after them. Now they're in front of my shop, loudly mocking my looks and clothes, I can hear them through the door. Nice day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807 You deserved it 130

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