Story of my life... By FML Approved - 30/10/2017 19:30 - United States - New York Slides are difficult for everyone, right? I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 765 You deserved it 2 465
Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 175 You deserved it 14 715
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 471 You deserved it 25 076
Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML I agree, your life sucks 427 You deserved it 96
Today, my husband and I were starting to get freaky. He was rubbing himself on my lady parts and I looked over to my side where my dog was intensely following my man’s junk with her eyes. I laughed so hard I farted, peed myself, and broke a cup in under 5 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 024 You deserved it 545
Today, after months of being friendly and flirty with a very close friend, they've started ghosting me and cancelling everything that has been planned. They will only message to moan or ask for help. FML I agree, your life sucks 383 You deserved it 171