The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Bling

By Elisha - 13/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I spent five hours extracting gold flakes from river sand. When I took it to the pawn shop, the dealer laughed in my face and said it was Fool's Gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 516

Applause at 8

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/05/2023 06:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, I work at a rural hospital where personnel is so short-staffed that we have to take double shifts without time to prepare food at home, and the place is too small to have a place to order food from. I lived off of sandwiches the entire week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 119

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 178

Can you be a little more specific?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'm pretty sure I destroyed a friendship irreparably. I was trying to do a nice thing, but it backfired in an awful way. I know it's my fault. I really wanted to be that person's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 339

He gets around

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 00:00

Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 621

You deserved it 663

Nitpicking

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 134

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 30/12/2020 17:01

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 2 287

Scatterbrain

By Rendered - 21/03/2022 12:00

Today, I tried to write a journal entry about my day, but since I've become so used to going on tangents, my daily entry did everything but talk about my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 645

Donut scandal

By Not a Kevin here - 10/06/2026 15:00 - Philippines

Today, in the doughnut shop I usually go to, I bought 3 dozen to take home. A new clerk rang me up and, with an attitude, said the store is cashless only now. Despite me showing cash to pay with like I always do, I was judged by other customers as if I was a deadbeat. She then threw a fit for cancelling and returning the items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 90

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 20:01

Today, my phone received a text which rarely happens. While getting my phone, I stubbed my toe, just to see a message from a telemarketer. Now my toe hurts and I didn’t even want what they were selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 133

Late bloomer

By Forever Lonely - 13/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Centurion

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 263

Memento

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 14:00

Today, I saw a photo of my wife's ex sucking her boobs in her old phone. I'd told her about em, but she appears to have still kept them because it's a year later, and they haven't been deleted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 236

Long road ahead

By Anonymous - 14/01/2021 20:01

Today, I came out to one of my best friends as non-binary, and told him (with their permission) that some of our friends were trans. He told us that we were all idiots and refuses to accept us. We've known him since 3rd grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 677

Splinter cell

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 00:01

Today, because of my inexplicable tendency to constantly get giant splinters in my feet, which generally take at least half an hour of tireless effort to remove, my family and friends have nicknamed me "Footy Woody." FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 221

Batshit soup

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 18:00 - United States - St. Petersburg

Today, I was doing laundry and realized that my father had left dirty underwear soaking in a bucket outside for the last two weeks. I informed him that they needed to be thrown out, and they smelled like sewage. It's been over 95 degrees outside lately here. He then yelled and sweared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 108

Karen of the day

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 117

By Jesse Thames - 16/05/2019 04:03

Today, I received a series of rejection letters from jobs, one after the other. Last night, I stayed up into the wee morning hours to apply to campus jobs I'm not qualified for, because I was classified as a part-time student due to an administrative error. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 182

Blackout

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 15:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, I failed my maths exam because of one single question, which I have been practicing for months and gotten very good at it. It was the first question… however, when the exam started, I forgot it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 214

Parting gift

By Anonymous - 30/01/2021 20:01

Today, the girl who lived downstairs and who was also sleeping with my guy moved out. She left a stack of my mail she had been taking at my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 112

Panic

By Anonymous - 02/07/2023 18:00 - United States - Palacios

Today, I'm a bookkeeper for a small company next to the ocean. It’s usually just me in the office, except when the owners stop by unannounced. I take #2s discreetly so they dont walk in on me. Today I couldn’t get my #2 to flush and didnt have a plunger, so I scooped it into a pitcher, ran outside, and threw it in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 304

Radar

By Anonymous - 11/07/2026 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 79

Wakey wakey

By zzzzzz - 30/01/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 110

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 02:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 238

Thanks dude!

By Megan - 11/07/2023 12:00

Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 250

The writing's on the wall

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife told me I’m not worth the trouble. She’d rather overextend herself for complete strangers than spend any time with me. I should've seen this coming. Even before we got married, her favourite line was, “You already had children with someone else, we’ll never be a family.” I tried for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 467

Obsessed

By Not bear - 20/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 89

Wage slave

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 00:02 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I talked to my boss about my pay decrease since switching job locations, and how I feel I should be getting a bit more. Her response? “Absolutely not.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

Capitalism, baby!

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 16:58 - United States

Today, it's day three of my dad not shutting up and still complaining about the Super Bowl commercials being "too woke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 237

What goes up must come down

By Anonymous - 02/05/2022 16:00

Today, when I wasn’t looking, my brother added 50 kilos to my barbell at the gym, which I obviously dropped right on my neck. I’m not sure what it’s called but the doc says I broke my Adam’s apple and that I'm lucky to be alive, since it could have broken my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 110

Be careful what you wish for

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I finally gave into a kink I wanted to try out. I asked my boyfriend to send freaky voice clips of him barking and whimpering. He actually did it, and It immediately gave me the biggest ick. I am now stuck with his horrible "sexy" barking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 361

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about LGBT rights, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grandkids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 086

You deserved it 5 247

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 793

You deserved it 5 726

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 389

You deserved it 3 516

Today, I found out that the girl I've been in love with for a long while got back together with her ex boyfriend because he had confessed his true feelings to her through a note in her locker. It was my note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 363

You deserved it 11 653

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558 040

You deserved it 45 652

Today, my husband stood me up for his birthday dinner, that I'd made, in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 760

You deserved it 430