Today, it's day three of my dad not shutting up and still complaining about the Super Bowl commercials being "too woke". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been three days since my mom starting ranting the about the "obscenity" of the Super Bowl halftime show. FML
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML
Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML
Today, we're in the middle of vacation. Two days in, my dad no longer wants to do anything but sit in the hotel room and sulk because, "it's all about us." We'd already tried taking him to an antique car and motorcycle museum, and a local gun show, but he just sat in the car pouting. Five more days of this. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, every time I play on my PS4, my father does nothing but pester me about, "wasting my time on that garbage" and insists that I watch soap operas with him instead. FML
Today, it's the third day of my dad's revenge after he snapped over me supposedly using the word "duh" in every other sentence. He got his hands on my old recorder and has been playing it loudly and out of tune outside my room when I try to do my homework. My mom thinks this is hilarious. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You need to come back and complain about Tom Brady's white privilege because he had an intact offensive line, but the black quarterback had to compete with decimated o-line. Then tell your dad that The Man rigged it that way.
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
You need to come back and complain about Tom Brady's white privilege because he had an intact offensive line, but the black quarterback had to compete with decimated o-line. Then tell your dad that The Man rigged it that way.
worldclassrager 41
It’s the biggest game of the year...why wouldn’t they be? It should end soon when the next big game comes up