Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML
Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML
Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML
Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was catfished through Facebook dating, even after making her do a photo verification. Apparently anyone can take a selfie holding up three fingers if they have a good enough AI generator. I'm terrified for the future. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML
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Top comments
matt1337c 0
was she hot?
Litschi 0
maybe if you buy her cosmetics, someone real will call you gorgeous, too
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Comments (78)
CrimsonWolf1294 0
you live In the future of lesbo robots.
skudgobang 1
cuz ya need it, luv.
sabatical 0
if it was Rosie from the Jetsons, I'd be damn flattered.
relyo 0
It did? Seems we need to recalibrate the visual input. Sorry about the mistake.
wordgirl 0
Should have been worded: "...by a female. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics." That would have been funnier and more FML-y
Jessicaiful 0
How do you know how long its been since somebody's called you that? :P
smartman136 8
who let c3po out i thought we melted him with the terminator
Felendris 0
oooooooooOOOOOOoooo shiny...
kk2krazee 0
Awww...cry me a river. Go read a book and get over it!!!
jihut2 0
I love how girls need to be told they're beautiful or they get sad :( how about you get over it and make something of yourself if you weren't born with good looks