Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML
Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML
Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML
Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was catfished through Facebook dating, even after making her do a photo verification. Apparently anyone can take a selfie holding up three fingers if they have a good enough AI generator. I'm terrified for the future. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML
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Top comments
matt1337c 0
was she hot?
Litschi 0
maybe if you buy her cosmetics, someone real will call you gorgeous, too
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Comments (78)
okieraider71 4
I think we are going from Cyber-Sex to Cyborg-Sex.
zabava 0
I thought there was an age limit for this site, when did they allow 5 yo on here??
Rexx 0
Don't date robots!!! Don't you know the world will end!?!?!?
zenti 2
#42, the same applies to retail when the cashier has problems trying to scan something. The most typical response from the customer is, "I guess that means it's free, right?" and then laughs.
RoxyRaccoon 4
This only makes me think of WALL-E. :)
blastvortex 4
Oh, so your life is at an end just because you got complimented by a static program? Goodness me, that's terrible. What kind of person would make a robot so needlessly pleasant that its commentary inadvertedly brutalized a person's fragile yet massive ego? It's unthinkable... Oh, and secondly, you're the second person I've seen today that doesn't know how to write but a single sentence among a host of sentence fragments. Could you do us a favor and learn some elementary school grammar, please?
lady_lindsey 0
today, I found a snickerdoodles clone. fml. ^^
Mac10nikka 0
well at least she said ur georgeous nit glamorous, pretty, or diva liciouse..!!mmmm
do_your_job 0
so? a robot was coming on to you! you should be flattered, you ungrateful prude.
Monikabug 9
Damn! You are so gorgeous that even inanimate objects tell you, you are. Lucky girl. :) See? Just put a spin on it.
ReyEr9412 0
I forsee literal phone sex in the OPs future.