Today, I was called gorgeous for the first time in 4 years. By a robot. A female robot. Who was trying to sell me cosmetics. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML
Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML
Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML
Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML
Today, I was catfished through Facebook dating, even after making her do a photo verification. Apparently anyone can take a selfie holding up three fingers if they have a good enough AI generator. I'm terrified for the future. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML
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Top comments
matt1337c 0
was she hot?
Litschi 0
maybe if you buy her cosmetics, someone real will call you gorgeous, too
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Comments (78)
asteroth 8
Maybe if you could form complete and coherent sentences, people would call you gorgeous more often. Good grammar is sexy. >:D
jihut2 0
That's actually just creative writing, not bad grammar.
CyclonePsycho 1
Not really. One fragment is perfectly acceptable, two are somewhat okay, but three are just annoying.
tipple 0
Watch out for those robots - some of them rust as they get older.
BlaqMetal13 0
Not to be a douche, but if you're not gorgeous, people won't call you gorgeous.
snowpatrol_fml 0
wow. anyone notice her screen name is gorgeous girl? thats sad.
Squander 3
Am I the only one thinking of the Makeup-Bot from WALL-E? I just watched that movie yesterday... 'You look GAUGEUOUS! I know, I'm Good!"
perdix 31
KarasuFrye, actually I had to retire that line because it was too good! Each time I used it, I was invited for immediate sex in her car, the ladies' room or the meat freezer (ironic). They all found that line so damn funny! Use with caution.
cuntwaffle 0
^ugly people
CyclonePsycho 1
4 years? Do you really keep track of how often you are complimented?
marleytooyou 0
4 years last time for my an hour ago hhhahah u need help
tisiphone_fml 0
I want to meet a cosmetic-selling robot! Where is the robot??? That's awesome!
XCaLX_fml 0
i have and im a guy ydi for being ugly