Today, a customer opened with, "You open bottles with them thangs?" I looked around my desk for something he might've confused with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informed me that he was talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML
Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML
Today, at work, my front-close bra popped open like an anime character, right in front of the two male coworkers I was talking to. My boobs flung around and I had to pretend nothing happened while subtly crossing my arms and waiting for them to leave so I could fix it. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
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Top comments
brodizzle 0
what
adelaide_evening 0
I say it's an FML on that mans girlfriend for having to put up with the guy if anything
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Comments (74)
Dayen 0
hahahah best pickup line EVER! don't get me wrong, it was horrible and offensive and disrespectful considering his girlfriend was right there but I'm a sucker for a good joke.
I_Suck_At_Life 0
I agree with #31 on both of those comments. Not the best FML but it still is one. Read my profile. That's an FML. I would submit it but I can't summarize that into 300 or less characters. =C Depressed people rule!!! <3333
Starhling 0
You're just another one of those "oh my life is the worst" people. You're life does not suck. There might be hard times, but doesn't mean that it sucks. I'm sorry, but when people do that, it just pisses me off because they take what they already have for granted.
chunkofchange 0
why would he say that with his girlfriend RIGHT with him...such an idiot
Dr_Phil 0
I don't understand why this is a FML.
d_x25 0
ew, i feel so bad for you and also his girlfriend...it's nasty to have random guys say stuff about your boobs
2scarred2tell 0
I think it is funny as hell and I think I love his GF. They were probably pointing and laughing at the clerk while waiting in line. That is why she, his GF, knew exactly what he was talking about. Yeah it was crued, but that is what you get for wearing revealing outfits at work.
20batman09 0
wow ppl are slow its an fml, cuz when you got great breasts, ppl dont take the time to get to know you and really dont care, they just stare and make dumb remarks life can get depressing for beautiful peopel you know
naiveprophet 15
and that's when you call in your manager and complain about sexual harassment. seriously, why do people think it's acceptable to just go around commenting on someone's breasts and make them feel that's ALL they are.
sillypun 0
that is some amazing shit. My girlfriend would crack up if I said that to a bank teller. Y'all got to stop taking everything so seriously and have some fun. Thats a classssssical line.
l33tm0nk3y 0
ya, hardly an f my life moment there. so some guy made a lewd comment - big deal. it's not even an insult - more of a compliment, really, i would think.