Today, a customer opened with, "You open bottles with them thangs?" I looked around my desk for something he might've confused with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informed me that he was talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML
Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML
Today, at work, my front-close bra popped open like an anime character, right in front of the two male coworkers I was talking to. My boobs flung around and I had to pretend nothing happened while subtly crossing my arms and waiting for them to leave so I could fix it. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
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Top comments
brodizzle 0
what
adelaide_evening 0
I say it's an FML on that mans girlfriend for having to put up with the guy if anything
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Comments (74)
N_aero 0
Careful, you might poke an eye out!
hey_banana 0
i still don't get it
validus 0
agreed, what's he saying?
EffYourLife0069 0
It's really not that complicated to understand.
suckerz 0
why feel bad for the girlfriend??? she can just dump his moronic ass... seriously what idiot says that to someone INFRONT of his girlfriend??? in general is bad enough but infront of the girlfriend??? I bet he was mighty rich but retarded and the gf was some gold-digger who was going to open up an account for the retard cuz he cant have one...
BJacobs 0
ROFLMAO reminds me of the perverted brown kid from mean girls.
nicksterluv 0
What a DICK. I can't believe he has a girlfriend.
EffYourLife0069 0
Maybe it wasn't his girlfriend. Maybe she mistakenly thought it was. It could've been his sister, friend, or something like that.
Bubs_fml 0
#15: The former part of your comment answers the latter.
validus 0
lol, must work well for him.
Touch_fml 0
This shouldnt be your FML This should be the Girlfriend of the guy's FML!! :D
Sarthaas 0
Srsly, this is no FML. Just a funny happening, but no FML. GTFO my internetz
hl_fml 0
humm, whatcha complaining about really...? It was a (lame laughable) compliment, cope with it!
AGballer16 0
thats not bad it just means u hav nice boobs....thats good