Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML
Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished, I jokingly said, "Who's going to sleep in the wet patch?" He got up and said, "You're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing." It was my first time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
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Top comments
A07 48
Five comments and not a single one advocating dumping, this just might turn out to be a good year.
Binglebeee 16
Sounds like he's feeling a little immasculated. Just tell him it's first time jitters and it's nothing to worry about, it happens to a lot of people and does not mean he's gay, just a little nervous!
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Comments (77)
captainsmegma 12
Maybe he just came from a massive sex session with his other girlfriend and was basically ****** out for the night.
pasupathymuthu 16
I would recommend Kegels Exercises for him.
yellowzinnias 20
Nah, if he can't get hard from the start, there's something else going on. One of my exes could get hard just fine, but the minute his penis touched my moist girl parts, he withered. We ended up breaking up, and now he is married to a nice man named Ben.
TheNewGuy03 29
Yep, every guy who doesn't just spring a boner instantly and just start thrusting is unequivocally gay...
yellowzinnias 20
That's pretty much the OPPOSITE of what I just said. I feel bad for you that your reading comprehension is so poor. Maybe getting an education would help your self-esteem?
yellowzinnias 20
Also, the second part is a true anecdote from my life, so I don't have to have it validated by someone with a penis to share it. Sad face for you!
popularonion 33
"Today, I typed the phrase 'Sad face for you!' FML"
rethic 5
You can't just "confront" someone about it. He was just nervous it happens to lots of guys. Why would you sit around for 2 hours being awkward about it? You should just keep fooling around doing other stuff and the problem will generally fix itself.
Busco7 6
Sorry to hear that.. The nerves are most likely on overdrive and he's overly worried on how to rock your world.. Foreplay works but It would also be ineffective if he's still anxious & nervous. All you need is to make him feel relaxed... Maybe crack a funny joke or two about something totally unrelated to sex and the noodle situation to release the tension, and then get back into it..
TheOneMica 6
Oops, wrong comment!
colder13 10
Anyone who says " I hope I am not gay" is really ashamed that they know that are. nothing worse than homophobic homosexuals.
Odannyboy 21
I actually chuckled out loud instead of breathing air out my nose
Autistic_Slut 9
erectile dysfunction?
muchwow87 13
Sounds like penis cancer.
ArcticFury 5
that's pretty cool how instead of being ashamed of him or something you comfort him instead