Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML
Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML
Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
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Top comments
slitherbomb 0
You're supposed to pretend to text people but really just go on Facebook....
gluesniff3r 3
I'm sorry, but pretending to talk to someone is pathetic. Pretend to text like everyone else or just do a thousand other things phones these days offer.
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Comments (47)
Miguemex95 4
On the bright side the phone didn't start ringing... I think that would've been worse..
brown4lifejot 1
What the ****?? Desperate much? YDI
FYLDeep 26
Don't pretend to talk on your phone and you won't have this issue. You gave absolutely no rational as to why you decided to do this in the first place.
RadioOctopus 16
why not just text someone or ACTUALLY call someone its easy..
Enslaved 38
What's wrong with you? Why pretend? Just play Angry Birds 'til your ride gets there.
VaanBasch 1
That'd be an even worse FML.
bananagrams 9
No it wouldn't
Urpointis 1
you're mom is mean!!!
jomith14 0
People make mistakes sometimes and you're commenting on a post not writing an essay there's no reason to write perfectly
onecrazybitch 0
Maybe if you weren't pretending to talk on the phone, you could've talked to an actual person and made a real friend. You're wierd.
Punkpoptart1119 20
Are you one of those people that thinks talking on the phone is cool and will make other people think you're cool? Truth is, NOBODY CARES. Why didn't you just go on Facebook, or actually call a friend?
ranamile 0
Why the hell did you do that anyway?
HogwartsDropout7 0
I honestly see no need for the pretending.