Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
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Top comments
davehorn 1
birth control dumbass!
knights95 9
Op should've taken some of his girlfriend birth control just to be extra safe.
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Comments (539)
flyboy96 0
You didnt put your pecker in a plastic bag, now you're going home in a plastic bag.
superpacker85 0
is it yours?? haha!!!
army129 0
good for him that's how I am with my daughters. I have a shotgun on the wall nd I clean my M1911 nd M4A1 everytime their bfs are over. I'm active army nd I ask them if they kno what its like to kill a man with their bare hands then I say I do.
aimeesea75 16
and how old are you, sir pedobear?
happydevil666 2
abortion time....
_Marcella_ 0
falcon punch...
DCFan 9
your gf is a ****.. 15? seriously?...
tabasc0drumz 0
shoulda pulled out
SydneyG 0
wtf is every girls problem? dude you need to go n grow up get an education and THEN have sex when you're like in college seems no girl can keep her legs closed or guys keep it in their pants haa
Pazu_fml 10
How is this a problem with girls? The boys are 50% of the problem here.
redhead07 0
and how old are you?!