Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job. I waited an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, and she told me I had to be let go because I'm not "reliable enough." The only time I missed work was when I had the stomach flu. I was fired before I could even quit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML
Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I came in to work to hand in my resignation. The minute I walked in, my manager took me aside and said he wanted to talk to me in private. He then cancelled my position and fired me. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was told by my boss if I was late one more time he fired me. I replied, "Can I quit then if that's the case." He then said no, and gave me more shifts. FML
Today, after moving provinces and working my ass off to find a job, and finally finding one, I got the flu and had to call in sick two days on my first week. They fired me today. FML
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Top comments
stogeist 5
well if you were fired then collect unemployment.
perdix 31
The best of both worlds! Now, you can collect unemployment -- you can't get that if you quit voluntarily. Also, if you have that bogus "not reliable enough" reason on paper, you have basis for a wrongful termination lawsuit. You get to stop working at a shithole and have two chances to score some free cash from them. Congrats!
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Comments (106)
thosedogtags 8
Well, at least you got the outcome that you wanted. Congrats, you no longer have to work there!
travtxson 5
Yeah but two completely different things when it comes to future job hunting when you list them on your résumé.
Catkam623 27
Actually it turns out better because he gets a severance check, and unemployment.
xStaciexLynnx 15
You don't get a severance check or unemployment for being fired, only for being laid off.
Mr_Satan 11
Unenployment shouldn't be a problem, sincerely doubt op will see any severence pay, and as far as future resumes go, quitting without notice and being fired both look pretty bad.
kristabelli 19
39 - how do you know OP wasn't going to give 2 weeks' notice?
wjh100 13
also if its not an at-will state you can fight it so at least you can get it erased from you're history their or changed to a lay off
wetofour 7
If OP was putting notice I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have said "quit." Two totally different things.
AngelSpit 18
I NEVER thought I'd ever have to do this but .... *your
MedKits 9
Close enough.
boating_guy 33
better. you even get the rest of the current paycheck you're on!
stogeist 5
well if you were fired then collect unemployment.
Mr_Leading 14
Haha exactly, I don't see how this is an FML. He went and got pretty much what he wanted. Just seems more like perfect timing to me.
xStaciexLynnx 15
People on FML really need to learn about unemployment. You can't get unemployment if you're fired, only if you're laid off at no fault of your own.
evilplatypus 39
31 - My dad's been fired plenty of times through complete fault of his own (smoking inside the building, cursing at the boss, generally sucking at his job, etc) and he's always collected unemployment. I'm not saying agree with it, but that's how it's worked for him so far.
gracehi 33
31, It's not as simple as that. When you apply for unemployment you have to give the reason you were fired on the application. Then you and the person/ company that fired you is notified of a review date on which you can present your case as to why you deserve unemployment and your former employer can refute your case. Usually the former employer doesn't show up, so OP could argue, "They fired me because they said I was 'unreliable' but it's not true and really didn't deserve to get fired at all," in which case OP would probably be approved to receive unemployment.
LeafsGuy92 10
35 - Where do you live? Cause here in Canada they don't give out 'free' money cuz you suck at your job or simply don't wanna be there, if that were the case no one would work atall
893186506 11
Actually, the Canadian government is fairly lenient in regards to who qualifies for employment insurance. The catch is that they only give you enough money to barely get by, and only for a limited period of time. That's why people have the incentive to work instead of collect employment insurance.
wjh100 13
I don't know what you think about the united states but with un-employment + welfare+ food stamps is still well below the poverty line.
rica1976 9
Now you can get unemployment
Obey_StudBoii 23
You can only collect unemployment under certain terms if you were terminated from your place of work.
perdix 31
#8, most people who get fired are eligible for unemployment. You have to be caught stealing a lot from the company (more than a few pens) or walking around with your dick hanging out to get fired and not be able to get that benefit.
JenkJenks 6
So the lesson here is... If I am going to steal a lot of stuff and get fired, I might as well do so with my dick out. Yet another way that FML is preparing me for the world outside.
perdix 31
#22, you learn fast. Not only do you get a free computer, but maybe one of your former co-workers liked what they saw in your final parade. . . rawr!
TheRandomIndian 17
41 the final parade will be later that day
martin19 2
Yeah now you can at least get compensation.
Sandman366 6
Win-win! You're no longer there, you've got the possibility of some kind of severance pay, AND you can tell your next employers that it takes serious illness to keep you from working.
YouSoClear 6
The end result was the same, who cares what happens! Now you can file for unemployment.. Win - win situation.
perdix 31
The best of both worlds! Now, you can collect unemployment -- you can't get that if you quit voluntarily. Also, if you have that bogus "not reliable enough" reason on paper, you have basis for a wrongful termination lawsuit. You get to stop working at a shithole and have two chances to score some free cash from them. Congrats!
ApacheC424 18
That's all true. Although it may be possible OP really wanted the self-confidence of quitting. That's why you can say "You can't fire me because I quit!"
perdix 31
#49, sounds pretty good, but my fantasy has been to stand up naked on my desk and belt out "Take This Job and Shove It!" it's not a sexual fantasy because I wouldn't have a boner -- my flaccid dick would be yet another indication of my disdain for the company!
TheRandomIndian 17
I am so glad I don't know what you look like right now
perdix 31
#70 Trust me, you don't know what an understatement that is! Yuk!!!
untouchable763 10
Unemployment was your goal? Congrats I guess.
MidnaLink 35
More like getting out of a crappy job. Even more congratulations.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Since you were fired and had plans to quit, good luck trying to collect unemployment.
mduerden 18
You fail.
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Umm, I seriously doubt OP mentioned going in there to quit to the boss. So that's irrelevant.
MidnaLink 35
"Today, I finally summed up the courage to quit"
TheRandomIndian 17
"I was fired before I could even quit"
Obey_StudBoii 23
Try looking at the FML again before you say something.
Obey_StudBoii 23
The only failure here is you. READ THE FML AGAIN BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
Sirin_fml 47
You really can't handle being wrong, can you?
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Were you guys really expecting anything REMOTELY intelligent from someone who named themselves "Obey_Studboii"? Trying to reason with him is an exercise in futility.