Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, my supposed "best friend" started going out with the girl I'd just split up with, immediately after she said she wanted to see other people. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
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Top comments
XandraHart 15
I think that's a win if she can't take a joke
cOOkiEzRgOOd 22
She should learn to take a joke, it's friends like those you want to keep and girlfriends like her who you're better without!
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Comments (57)
beeferjay 34
home girl just needed any ole reason... sucks for you but there are plenty o' fish in the sea
BrightBlue87 9
That really was a revealing joke, it shows that you are: witty, able to form good friendships, non-homophobic and don't take yourself too seriously:) Good for you OP!
PsychicBulwark 4
What's funny is that this "joke" shows none of those qualities, other than not taking himself seriously.
bandaidstations 28
Bet you're a real fun time, 31. Who doesn't joke and laugh with friends?
iHyperModz 22
That will teach you not to act gay lol
Wizardo 34
Crouching Hetero, Hidden ****.
wassup388 25
You can find someone else, hopefully someone that'll trust you
esca6angel 16
I think you dodge a bullet there
LyricaSilvan 30
If she's that dumb, you probably dodged a bullet anyway.
PsychicBulwark 4
You "joked" about being gay, and got dumped for being gay. Now you know why people say "some people can't take a joke". Also, you might want to work on actually funny jokes at some point, js.
daGun 18
Maybe she was scared of stiff competition.
thatonetribute 31
She can't take a joke. I'm sorry, op.