Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I'm deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I'm actually alive. FML
Today, I noticed my credit score increased by 30 points. Not understanding why, I checked credit karma and found out someone opened several credit cards in my name. FML
Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML
Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently, according to the state of Illinois, I'm dead. FML
Today, I found out my identity was stolen. The person got credit cards in my name and didn't pay the bills, which has ruined my near perfect credit. The worst part about all of this is that I can't turn the person in. It's my mom, and sending her to jail wouldn't really work out for anyone. FML
Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML
Today, I got another in a year-long string of threatening letters about my late mother's credit card bill. I've called the credit company repeatedly to settle the account, but they won't talk to me because I'm not authorized to access it. Hope they have a Ouija board. FML
Today, I was trying to be a responsible adult and check my credit score. I accidentally mistyped my password five times, got locked out, and had to call customer service. They asked me so many security questions, I started questioning my own identity (and sanity). FML
Today, my girlfriend received a scam email about her great uncle dying and leaving her money. She not only believed it, but she also used my credit card details for it. FML
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Top comments
Apocalyptus 0
90% ? Well I suppose you could be a zombie.
untoldfame 3
In Soviet Russia, Credit Report Kills You!
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Comments (98)
Apocalyptus 0
90% ? Well I suppose you could be a zombie.
no1askdu 5
or a prostitute
Passerbye 0
How the heck does being a prostitute figure in to this?
HahaYDI 0
#14 I am giving you +2 internets for your awesomeness, so now you're up to 145 internets.
Subtext 10
Braaaaaaaaiiiiiinsss....
z3r0ram 0
haha he has 10% doubt that he's living
missmollylynn 0
at least 90% sure you're alive? you're pathetic attempt at humor failed miserably.
Monie_Madness 0
And your pathetic attempt at being cool also failed miserably. Seriously, the OP was just joking. and OP, that FML made my day(:
Shanx 0
your a ******* idiot
Monado 0
You're*
musiclife_fml 0
Call in the Ghostbusters!!! Either that, or who isn't almost a zombie on some mornings?
astropuff69 9
#71, I love it when people call people idiots and use wrong grammar. It's ******* awesome.
NdnStlkr 0
:O Zombieeeeeeee
Faithful_Jewel 0
90%? Okay, that got me laughing. Try another site based on the fact that one is utter rubbish :P And throw rocks at their servers whilst you're at it.
Disturbed425 0
90%'s not bad. Most people have no idea they're alive so good for you!
untoldfame 3
In Soviet Russia, Credit Report Kills You!
PhysOptGuy 0
HAHA Excellent
diet_otaku 0
epic win XDDDDD this FML is excellent, btw. a good story and funny delivery. *double thumbs up*
twistedluver101 2
so, you're 10% dead. no biggie.
gothymama 0
I'm not dead. I feeeeaaallll happyyyyy!
kingkash 0
they ment financially...
BenignScientists 0
Very funny post, I hope you get it all worked out.
lol_u_loser 0
90% of me says this fml post sucks
Jaxx66 21
100% of me says you probably have no sense of humour.
Hackle 0
It seems you're only mostly alive. Now mostly alive, means slightly dead.
miyon_fml 0
True, its better then mostly dead
PhysOptGuy 0
"To Blave" means "To Bluff"
Sun_Kissed18 25
:D Princess Bride! I love you all for those references!
MandYy_fml 0
Ome! Thank you! I was totally thinking of PB! :) this made my day ^^ And OP- you might wanna get that checked out... I hear being dead (even just "slightly") is bad for your health. :D lol