Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because his iPod app said I was cheating. FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. In Walmart. Over the loudspeaker. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
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Top comments
jack10001 9
Your username says it all!
unknown_user5566 27
There once was an OP who lived in a shoe. Her boyfriend said she cheated, and gave her the boot. Little did she know, she was dating Dr. Suess, And shouldn't give a damn about losing her boo.
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Comments (99)
hateevryone 15
How old is he? And why would you date someone so immature?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Either way he's insecure so sue him for anything that was damaged. And if you share a lease have it broken and demand your half of the deposit returned. Either way prepare to go to court because that's completely unacceptable.
t_raw1234 11
You're dating a 5 year old.
gixxergirl74 5
I'm sorry, but I giggled alittle when I read this.
ellezmarie 3
Hahaha omg that's immature LOL. OP you sound like your better off without him cheer up chick plenty of other more mature fish in the sea
Bigmoneyshotz 0
Sounds like he has a guilty conscience and is not dealing with it so well! You should have replied back to him Neener Neener Neener !
MangaManiacNat 13
Sounds like you got the better of the deal in no longer being with an immature little man.
mack_the_knife 3
Hahaha, and here I was thinking that MY ex was crazy. Just be glad you got out before you had a kid and a morgage. I didn't.
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Oh how mature. Good show.
TJ1991 3
How is getting out of a relationship with a guy the mental age of a five year old a bad thing? Just move on and forget the childish and paranoid loser, clearly you could do better.