Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
ILoveFluttershy 3
"I swear it's not what it looks like!"
Queen_Cosmos 7
Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.
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Comments (58)
Tali147 16
I suppose you could try to explain what happened, but it is doubtful she will believe you... "I swear I spilled makeup! On my crotch...so I was just...cleaning up..." "Suuuure"
STFUGTFO 6
Who vacuums powder off their clothes? I either dust it off or put it in the wash. What exactly were you doing OP?
DeathBunny218 37
Most people wait until they have a few items of clothes to wash to make the most of the cycle, and if she washed it by hand there's a probability that the powder would clump and make the situation a whole lot worse. Using a vacuum cleaner is the most logical response, although taking off her trousers first would have been a smart idea.
thatonename 7
Yeah, the vacuum would probably feel a little better that way too.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Or you could've just changed your pants..?
DeathBunny218 37
Her trousers would still have make up on and it would probably stain them.
SkoomaKi 28
She might not have been wearing pants o.O
genericfmluser 17
Maybe she was going out in her nice pair of jeans on a date and it completed their outfit. we don't know if she could have changed.
alymartin 1
Maybe it was her only pair?
Tali147 16
I would think there would be no getting out of it if the OP were pantless. But that is just me.
tony1891 22
da **** wrong with you? take a shower!
cheetahbaby96 8
Da **** is wrong with your grammar?
DocBastard 40
I wonder what tipped your sister off. Was it perhaps the sound of the vacuum coming from the bathroom? I think anyone would be curious about that particular noise coming from that particular room. Was she supposed to think you were vacuuming the bathtub?
Tali147 16
Don't you vacuum your bathtub Doc?
randii_17 11
...I literally just finished vacuuming the bathrooms in my house. And I vacuumed the tub as well since it is rarely used :$
nonnieluv 9
Some people have rugs in their bathrooms
DocBastard 40
Well don't I feel stupid now for using bathroom cleaners and bleach and stuff on my tubs. From now on, I get that residue off my tub with the vacuum.
AppallingRogue 2
Or she could have one of those markup desk things in her room, she doesn't necessarily have to be in the bathroom
ICastillo 25
It's cool op I put the vacuum on my crotch for fun.
AppallingRogue 2
Is it weird that that reminds me of scarey movie?
ICastillo 25
"I said don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room"
perdix 31
That sucks. It would be worse if she asked, "Did your boyfriend's condom break?"
Lludes 5
Lol!
Thisismypchere 8
That blows.
Pandacupcakelove 26
No, it sucks.
strokedturbogsxr 3
Trying to suck out the baby eh?