Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML
Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out I'd grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
Today, after cleaning my mom’s bathroom, I wiped the molding strip along the wall so it was even. A quite precariously-hung potted plant thought that reason enough to fall right on top of me, spreading dirt over the entire room as well as my hair, my sweater, and the inside of my bra. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
ILoveFluttershy 3
"I swear it's not what it looks like!"
Queen_Cosmos 7
Explain what happened, she may be suspicious, but it's worth a try.
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Comments (58)
AwsumShyGuy 12
Except, women don't have a crotch.
Derpyhooves7 5
Yes, they do actually. Why wouldn't women have a crotch?
Shrike 24
90, you must be ******' brain-dead so I'll be nice and give you the definition. "Crotch," noun, meaning "the part of the human body between the legs where they join the torso."
BCrazzi 9
Awks...:P
hotcommodity01 1
If that's the most embarrassing thing your sister has seen you do, consider yourself lucky.
jwbfml 11
I could never vacuum my crotch without the fear of losing my penis.
smallfrie32 6
Didn't think you Brits were into that kinds thing ;)
katie345 1
Applying makeup, she comes and vacuums your crotch.? Wait what?
lixone 7
You need to work on your reading comprehension.
pokefan813 16
For some odd reason I did picture her with no pants...
nanxi 30
For some reason, OP was a guy at first in my mind while I was reading this. It made for an interesting interpretation.
angelinaanimerg 7
Eh not really an fml . Easier explained
andrizzel 6
Don't get too carried away:o