Today, I was on a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the list was to ask a stranger to marry them. I saw an old lady in a wheelchair; I tried to make her day by asking her to marry me. She declined and attempted to run me over with her wheelchair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a total stranger asked me to marry him while we were waiting for the bus. I turned him down. He then pulled a knife on me, grabbed my purse and ran. FML
Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
Today, I got run over. Not by a car, but by a lady in a wheelchair. Am I really that invisible? FML
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML
Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML
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Top comments
kglambert24 8
That's actually a little creepy.
techweed 12
"Make her day by asking her to marry me"... A bit conceited, aren't we?
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Comments (60)
yrue82 7
That's what you get for thinking that anybody would marry you!
Xotoolyxo 16
Should have just hopped onto her lap and you two could've rolled away
mrebeccan 19
make her day? someone thinks highly of themselves huh? ;-)
simoncat 11
Why would being asked to marry YOU make hER day? Pretty full of yourself, aren't ya?
Sir_Swaggington 6
Why the **** would you asking some random person to marry you make their day? YDI.
bluerhhajfk 17
Man, this DID make my day!
Kk_Waylen24 21
What if she said yes? You would have to ruin her day and say "oh just kidding!"
Nirah_fml 18
I don't know why everyone's jumping on him going "Why would that make her day!?" I would have thought the same thing he did. I work as a Care Attendant in a retirement home and, from my experience, the majority of elderly people love to be included in any jokes or silliness. He could have done the same thing to just about any of the elderly people I know and they would have loved it.
jessherself13 21
OP, I think you deserved that. I mean it had to have freaked her out a little. Also, you have to laugh at the fact that she tried to run you over.
SwaggCapone 11
....ummm....exactly what voices convinced you this would be a good idea?