Today, at work as a dog groomer, two dogs gave me bloody bites, completely unprompted. I went home in tears, so my family got Chinese takeout to cheer me up. My fortune cookie read, "It is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML
Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML
Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML
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Top comments
kazekai8 11
What are the chances of getting a cookie related to your plight? O.o
Donut_Wizard 23
Everyone is thinking it, so I’m just going I say it. Chinese food... Dogs...
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Comments (19)
kazekai8 11
What are the chances of getting a cookie related to your plight? O.o
RichardPencil 32
47.3:1 You’re welcome.
MidnaLink 35
I’d get rabies shots ASAP!
swervelol 28
Most places won’t groom a dog before seeing their medical records for rabies shots, I worked with dogs directly at PetSmart and that was a rule.
MidnaLink 35
Two dogs, unprovoked bites? Nah, I’m getting checked.
Lepisma 38
It would be better to quarantine the dogs for 10 days (which is what the law generally requires for any skin-breaking bite from a cat, dog, or ferret anyway) and then avoid the pain and expense of the rabies vaccination series altogether when they clear the post-quarantine exam and just have to take some antibiotics for the wounds. Doctors are obligate reporters and if you end up needing to go for treatment later on and you tell them it’s an animal bite but can’t provide the animal’s information so they can be quarantined, they’re probably going to (at least try to, don’t know if they can legally force you) make you get the shots anyway. OP, your job should provide some kind of worker’s compensation in these cases since it’s a common work hazard... if not, that just sucks.
Donut_Wizard 23
Everyone is thinking it, so I’m just going I say it. Chinese food... Dogs...
RichardPencil 32
I’d say that was quite... wait on it... unfortunate.
pjsr 33
Definitely get your money back on that fortune cookie. That’s not your fortune; that’s your past. Unless..... I’m not sure I’d go to work tomorrow if I were you.
RichardPencil 32
You realize that fortune cookies are usually complimentary at Chinese restaurants, so they’ll be happy to refund the cost to you?
manb91uk 22
It's like a reverse fortune cookie! Instead of showing you the future it's showing the past, what a neat concept!
bigdaddyeric 37
The cookie should have said “....it’s the size of the BITE of the Dog that counts”
tonyfan00 38
I think the messenger was running behind...
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Don't worry, every dog has his day.
ARISKomuniszt 24
Bloody doggos...