Today, I found out that my overprotective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother is getting married to my crush of 7 years. To make that even worse, they're moving in with me. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I realized how absolutely shitty my family is when my brother brought home his third girlfriend this week. They all smiled in her face, knowing full well my brother is a cheating asshole. Not to mention, she’s pregnant with his kid. I wasn’t allowed to date til I moved out. FML
Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML
Today, my friend informed me that I’m not moving in with him anymore, and that his sister is taking my place. Unfortunately, I'd finally gathered the money and a car to move out of state with him. Just when I thought I was going to get away from this hellhole, I’m sinking further into never leaving. FML
Today, after being supportive for nearly a year, my brother finally came out of the closet and introduced the family to his new boyfriend. His new boyfriend happens to be my ex-boyfriend. Guess I know why that didn't work out now. FML
Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML
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Top comments
DjeePee 25
Since when does your brother decide that your house is available for him? Isn't it the owner of the house who decides who moves in, hmm? Just say no.
xxmollyxx 25
You "found out"? Have you no say in who moves in with you?
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Comments (95)
ureffinyoko68 0
quick! get laid when you still have the chance
NCR 0
WTF it won't lemme comment or submit a fml
NCR 0
today my brother put a waffle in my xbox360 disc drive. thanks bro.Fml
EMT3713 14
#97, We already have a pair, they're called boobs.
BWill9014 4
What? I believe he was referring to the common phrase "grow some balls" meaning to stand up for ones self... but you're saying for women the phrase should be changed to "grow some boobs"? I'm sorry but that's just an idea that I can't cosign lol
mesocrazy 2
anatomy fail. our pair would be ovaries, since men also have breasts.
Driveshaft 5
I stand corrected, so slap him with your breasts and yank out your ovaries so they hang low and lazy, then tell him he can't stay...problem solved!
iDorkieRawr 14
The fact that he's in Prison makes me wonder why first of all. :x & I am sadd for you.
yometo 0
run away
rockell 0
hello his in jail I'm sure there's a reason4 that
hobo5 0
damn good luck maybe he will end up in jail again. but that's a mean thing to say maybe he might have changed in his time in jail
levin1983 0
hey how about not letting him move in? ******* duh.
bischkeboy 3
you deserve not having a relationship. this makes you sound like a little bitch.
sunnyfurball 0
that does not sound like a good plan for either of you