Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML
Today, I went to see a movie but took my phone out a few times to check my socials. Apparently the asshole behind me didn’t like that, because he ripped my phone out of my hands, dropped it in my soda, then just sat back in his seat like nothing happened. FML
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, where I loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy, and settled in to enjoy the movie. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
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Top comments
metallicshadow 16
"his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected" that's a ******* awesome statement
JamoB 7
But I bet the look on his face was priceless
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Comments (74)
worldclassrager 41
I think you should have been able to stay...just explain everything to security it might work towards your favor...
Way2Fast8 20
FREE CANDY
enddmd 27
I'm surprised it took this far into the comments for someone to point this out.
RenoTheRhino 30
At least you know he's a little bitch that wouldn't've tried to mess with you anymore. I wouldn't want to be in the same theater with him anyways. But it does suck you lost your money OP.
beaverteaser 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
they threw free candy, and you got mad? what are you Diabetic?
TheCovertGamer 2
My best bet is that you can't read
Soundslikeothers 15
Throwing candy? at those prices? What a fool!
iknowiwantyou 13
I usually buy popcorn, drinks and candy at the dollar store and sneak em all into the theatre. works like a charm ;) srsly doe, 10 bucks for a small drink and 5 bucks for a candy bar? WTF.
sunnyray812 42
At least you put him in his place.
perdix 31
Maybe he had a Candy Crush on you?
caroline___ann 7
Nice wording
the_real_dvd 21
Doesn't matter. You stood up for yourself. Years ago, there was a group of angry black people throwing racist epithets at all the actors in a movies I was attending. Typical of reverse racism, everybody kept their mouths shut- but me. Full of liquid courage smuggled in, I told them to STFU. The respondent got out of his seat and threatened to kick my ass, to which I offered to let him try. Much to everyone's surprise, another guy stood up. He was a friggin huge black guy and he said, N******, sit yo ass down. Then, they proceeded to brawl. About 20 people fought in front of me without me ever throwing a punch. I ate popcorn and watched them. The police came, the crowd pointed out the original instigators, and they were tossed out. After the movie, we were all given passes to a free movie. So I guess my point is, don't put up with the bs. If you're right, you're right. And that's all that matters.
drewflav 17
Best post I've read all week. Kudos to you!
blackonblight 33
That is all manner of awesome.
xzinnayaaaax 10
I'm glad people still stick up for themselves ♥
scotti19 14
Nope.