Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like, "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. I'm obsessive about cleanliness and neatness. They're candidates for a certain show about hoarders. I want to shower in bleach. FML
Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
Today, like everyday, I have to ignore the mould in the bathroom, cat shit stuck to the dining room floor, and dirty dishes in the kitchen courtesy of my never-cleaning sister, but today she bitched at me for being gross and unhygenic for double dipping the ice-cream tub, and everyone agreed. FML
Today, like every time I visit the in-laws, my father-in-law is driving me crazy. He gets all holier than thou sometimes, and even my mother-in-law agrees he just talks to hear himself speak. It gets so bad that I resort to cleaning their house to ignore him. At least then he leaves me alone. Starting their dishes in 5. FML
Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML
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Top comments
TGKat 13
I think your in-laws have yet to escape medieval times and come to the present, OP. FYL
XBurytheCastleX 25
For a present, give them some body sprays and deodorant. Let them know they need it. Revenge
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Comments (159)
MartinDJ 26
You're probably gonna be fine lol
HKCgrimmjow 15
Probably going to be fine, truly a great comment to say the least! How do you do it mister?
SexySlayer1248 18
If you live in California water wasting matters right now
SilentRhapsody 13
It says she lives in Colorado. We have droughts here almost every summer, along with awful wildfires. I don't blame anyone for showering every day, but if she takes super long showers every day I'd give her shit for it.
tomgun_fml 16
Why?
LadySalazara 6
I take it; you're in-laws must not take regular showers
LadySalazara 6
*your
ragini95 16
why does everyone on here get so angry about just normal comments? jeez. all of you sound stuck up.
TGKat 13
I think your in-laws have yet to escape medieval times and come to the present, OP. FYL
Enslaved 38
There's nothing suggesting that the in-laws don't shower "regularly" themselves. A shower everyday can seem excessive. Depending on what type of work the OP does, come on, how dirty can you get? Some deodorant, a sink washed face and a bidet (to wash your booty) should be acceptable to skip a day in between. If a shower is needed daily, then try to take quick ones so less water is wasted. Nothing wrong with help being an environmentalist.
zandalee 20
More like caveman times. Yeesh, so much ammunition to use against these smelly creepy people, I wouldn't know where to begin!
Lanker 17
#43 is right. I've seen somewhere that you only need to shower 3 times per week to be considered clean (but that depends on the work you do, of course).
UO88 10
Lifehacker recently did an article about how often you should shower. Personally I shower at least every other day if not every day. I have also heard that it's bad to wash your hair every day.
meggieeeee92 27
I take showers every day. I don't see what's so wrong with that. Especially if you go to the gym and sweat a lot every day. Or do some sort of labor intensive work. I'm sorry, but I like to be clean.
strawberrywine22 30
I shower every day, and wash my hair every other day
aire101 16
I'm sorry, but having smelled the people that come into my store every day, whether you work a labor intensive job or not (and some of these people with this issue are lifetime freeloaders, so they don't have one), some people NEED to have a shower every day. Not everyone perspires the same or have the same level of body odor issues.
KinkyCurly 13
I believe the in laws are thinking of the present... they didn't just refer to her cleanness, but the water wasting too... there might be more to the story.... like they live in CA were there is a drought going on...???
KinkyCurly 13
Just saying..
LalaDee561 8
I can't believe that taking a shower every day is considered bad. I guess it depends on the culture. My family considers it gross if you only take one shower a day (they take 2- in the morning and at night) and I get talked shit to sometimes for only showering once a day. I'm sure you'd be OK not showering every day, but no matter what you do you still sweat some every day. Unless you're literally sitting on your ass all day long from when you wake up until you sleep.
moosetracks22 10
There's nothinng wrong with taking a daily shower. Some people need to shower everyday. I have oily hair, and if I don't wash it daily it looks horrible. Every weekday I either exercise or clean people's houses for work. so I will either be sweaty or smelling of cleaning supplies and covered in other people's dirt and germs, there's no way I am going to bed like that. Unless I plan to stay inside for two days I have to take a shower to look presentable.
WhackTheJackal 22
It is scientifically proven that showering every single day isn't as good for you as showering once every couple of days.
XBurytheCastleX 25
For a present, give them some body sprays and deodorant. Let them know they need it. Revenge
littlekellilee 45
I agree. I would suggest giving them shampoo and body wash, with the word "hint" in capital letters on the tag. Otherwise they probably won't get it.
Grauncho 27
Do they live in West Virginia by any chance?
botanistjessica 24
What does that have to do with anything?
DracoSpirita 21
There was a water crisis here in West Virginia last month. Some stupid chemical company poured tons of chemicals into the water supply so several counties, including my own, were unable to drink the water or bathe in it, or use it for laundry or cleaning. Some places are still having issues with their water.
Grauncho 27
^ what 87 said.
CommentModerated 17
Poor luck #5. You just ask a reasonable question and you come off like you're stereotyping a whole state as being weird hillbillies.
funsizedbecka 9
That's pretty rude. Regardless of what is going on in my home state, that comment is uncalled for. The whole state has not been affected by the spill just a small portion.
MWidderAUDI 14
How the hell was that rude it anyway?
kingdomgirl94 29
101, he was asking because an area in that state was affected and asking about state is a lot less creepy than asking about county.
Welshite 40
You could always "accidentally" spray them down with the water hose. Or tip them into the pool. Your choice.
TheTacoMan 24
Or "accidentally" throw some soapy water balloons at them.
WCARlover 35
Shame on you for being hygienic, OP. Shame on you!
red225 14
Exactly! OP should smell like death and decay all year round!!
Selvyys 4
It's actually better for you to skip a day from showering. It's good for your hair and skin and you also save money. Skipping one day does not make you unclean.
MrRazzle 4
Unless you work in a warehouse where dust and dirt are in abundance and cling to you like flies to crap. Then you probably need to shower everyday after work.
GuiLD15 7
#45 what a turn of events
LalaDee561 8
I agree that washing your hair everyday is bad for it, but why is showering once every day a bad thing?
hashshim 23
it actually makes your immune system go into overdrive if you're to clean. your immune system then attacks things like peanuts because it has nothing else to fight.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Yep, #95, and also kids that grow up in households with pets are generally healthier and have stronger immune systems because their immune systems have to work to keep them healthy from the bacteria from the dog/cat/chickens/farm animals, etc. If kids grow up in an environment that's too clean, their immune system won't have anything to do and they end up being sick a lot because a sterile environment is unhealthy and they need a good amount of germs.
ruchg1 5
YDI for wasting water.
cyttex 13
What is wrong with your in-laws?
buttcramp 21
apparently, a hygiene lol
chosha_fml 27
Apart from the smell?
littlem91 29
It seems they're dirty hippies.
claiiire_fml 17
Put a square of bullion in their shower head. Problem solved(:
BradTheBrony 19
Problem not solved. How will putting a metal ingot in their shower head fix the problem?
SpicyDuck 22
15, a bouillon is a soup stock type product and no it would not solve any problem, just make them smellier so they have to shower more. So if they do stink, maybe it's solving a problem by making it worse..
olpally 33
Spray them with a hose until they leave your house.
pwnman 33
I pictured that, which had me laughing..