Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like, "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. I'm obsessive about cleanliness and neatness. They're candidates for a certain show about hoarders. I want to shower in bleach. FML
Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity." I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
Today, like everyday, I have to ignore the mould in the bathroom, cat shit stuck to the dining room floor, and dirty dishes in the kitchen courtesy of my never-cleaning sister, but today she bitched at me for being gross and unhygenic for double dipping the ice-cream tub, and everyone agreed. FML
Today, like every time I visit the in-laws, my father-in-law is driving me crazy. He gets all holier than thou sometimes, and even my mother-in-law agrees he just talks to hear himself speak. It gets so bad that I resort to cleaning their house to ignore him. At least then he leaves me alone. Starting their dishes in 5. FML
Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML
Today, my parents kept overreacting over stupid stuff during dinner. I found a hair in a dish, so I removed it myself. My mom goes, "Is that a hair? Is it?! I'll get rid of it!" I told her that I'd already done it myself. Then, because I bit my nail once, my dad constantly kept asking if I was OK, even though I'd said I was. He wouldn't stop! FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML
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Top comments
TGKat 13
I think your in-laws have yet to escape medieval times and come to the present, OP. FYL
XBurytheCastleX 25
For a present, give them some body sprays and deodorant. Let them know they need it. Revenge
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Comments (159)
lessavii 2
over showering is extremely bad for your skin and your natural oils. Your family is doing it right.
Masons_Mummy 2
I'm horrified at some of these comments, really I am. I and every one I know showers/baths at least once a day. Iv never heard of this ludicrously with it being normal to NOT shower/bath daily. Omw.
Shadow1290 4
I have no idea why showering every day is seen as weird! the only reason i don't is because my hair is so dam long it takes over 24hrs to dry. But I shower every other day. My mom and brother both shower once a day. ... How is that so wrong? As for your in-laws .... if they are at *your* house ... kindly show them the door, if they can't respect you they can get out! As for your husband/wife, you should have a word with him/her about this disrespect and nastiness!
TheMystery13 13
Follow them around with disinfectant spray and air freshener. Spray them constantly and disinfect everything they touch. If they come to your house, put plastic on all the furniture, and give them paper plates and plastic cups and utensils. Make them wear surgical masks before they can speak, and if they don't comply, turn the hose on them. If they stay the night, give them a cot with rubber sheets in the garage. If this doesn't get the point across, just go with, "Shut the **** up, you diseased *****."
cwl727 33
How often do they bathe?
Nederlander95 14
Wait so how often does your husband shower?
clumbsydouche 13
I shower twice a day! :-/
jaym97 7
Do they not realise that everyone showers everyday? They sound grotty tbh
themanyuniverses 3
In the U.S. Showering every day is the norm but it is kinda a waste of water. So many poor people are lucky to shower once a week. I shower every other day.
CaroAurelia 12
I'm sorry, but you married into the weirdest family.