Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I'm working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she's wrong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
takemedown 0
Why would ANYONE think the pyramids were built by aliens from Mars?
starflake 3
I have a feeling your girlfriend has been watching too much Stargate..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (380)
kira1kira 0
some people are only alive because it's ilegal to kill them
xVictorx_fml 0
She's probably doing that because she wants you to break up with her.
Treehugger 0
She's a keeper...
elizabethan11 0
I think you're an irrational idiot for dating her. Aliens? Come on.
ubernoober 0
@#31 well played my friend, well played
Combat 0
YDI for getting togheter with her..
CodeMan16 0
aliens didnt build them, everybody knows it was the cybertronians
CodeMan16 0
wow i didnt realize how unoriginal my comment was until i looked at the previous comments about transformers. you guys suck
Delvyy 0
BLONDE!
fxdxhk90 0
So? Your girlfriend is an idiot, her life is more ****** then yours.