Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML
Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML
Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML
Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I mistakenly texted my father in-law a photo of all my weed and all the joints I'd rolled. He’s also my boss. FML
Today, I was supposed to wash my wife's underwear, then go to work and interview a new educator at 10.30am. I ended up smoking weed, getting stoned, and sitting in my car at 11.00am at a McDonald's. I'm now sitting at my desk and still high as fuck. FML
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML
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Top comments
expectcriticism 13
well maybe next time you'll think twice before jeopardizing something important like that. there are so many ways to calm your nerves rather than smoking weed so you completely deserve this one
LickitungJr 8
... Yeah, you deserved it...
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Comments (148)
z0mBi3kiTTy 18
you shouldn't have smoked so much! three hits and you would have been fine! "teeheehee, sorry judge! I've got a case of the giggles!!"
wingedelephants 17
It was a terrible idea, but not stupid enough to keep me from pitying you. Court is a high-pressure place. FYL
mattrd_fml 31
You giggled like an idiot? you ARE an idiot!
rawlings123 17
hahaha nice dude
icepick23 12
That's awesome
Jarl_the_Elite 27
There are things out there that are way better for calming nerves before something like a deposition like playing a video game or sport you like
GrandMarquis 3
You're a ******* moron
CrazyMelvin 14
Idiot.
poohforMVP 4
I was gonna go to court, but then I got high...oh wait u still went to court...dumbass
Iloggedout 6
High stakes, high times.