Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
That's a great way to open an investigation on your household. Good job OP.
djurmel89 30
Oh you totally deserve this. But nice to know your school reacts and questions you right away.
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Comments (53)
somethingcool3 4
Wow you totally deserve that.
bayy1432 14
I don't usually vote but you totally deserved this one dumb ass.
feven 32
I feel you. I tend to make inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times sometimes too
InfiniteSecret 20
Domestic Abuse isn't a joke. How is it joking that you are being hit funny????
ProfessorMctitie 20
So your dad is probably a upset with someone
mrningbrd 19
Domestic abuse is NOT a joke, asshole. YDI
hannah_cheers 30
Wow how sick do you have to be to think that's funny? Abuse isn't something to joke about. YDI big time.
BDA_fml 5
You should be smacked for that!
goddessa9 12
Idiot
ma12r 22
Honestly OP it's okay to make jokes but you have to know your ethics. Personally I think that's crossing the line. If your friends are okay with those jokes then go ahead but in a public situation something like that is a little uncalled for.
Saraj07 18
On what planet is child abuse funny? YDI!