Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teaching and a boy sitting in front kept laughing and smiling, even after I asked him to cut it out. I got so annoyed that I jokingly said I'd knock his teeth out, and asked him to leave the class. The kid went to the principal and told him I intended to hurt him. I'm a college professor. FML
Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML
Today, I finally stood up for myself and beat the crap out of a bully at school, as my father told me to do. The kid and I were called to the principal's office, along with our parents. Inside my father's smirk faded when he saw that the kid's mom was his boss. FML
Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
That's a great way to open an investigation on your household. Good job OP.
djurmel89 30
Oh you totally deserve this. But nice to know your school reacts and questions you right away.
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Comments (53)
quinn1184 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would've laughed if I was in your class :)
ProfessorMctitie 20
i wouldnt of
mrmcleod 29
I wouldn't have.
sstahpp 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wouldnt of what?
ProfessorMctitie 20
none of your bee's wack #41!
sstahpp 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lololol yeah okay. Because both comments makes soooooo much sense.
originaljosh 11
#50 it went right over your head just forget about it
1dvs_bstd 41
I know right? Because domestic violence and making a joke that could land someone in huge ass trouble is so harmlessly hilarious... mannn aren't those sorta jokes a hoot?!
quinn1184 25
who cares I'm number one! keep bitching it makes me feel good about myself
EverestMelting 23
That's a great way to open an investigation on your household. Good job OP.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
Yeah, how dense can you get OP? You know how paranoid and protective our society has become. I feel bad for your parents who now have to put up with an investigation because of their idiot child.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Yep, and he's surprised they didn't think it was a joke. School admins should never assume such a statement is a joke.
djurmel89 30
Oh you totally deserve this. But nice to know your school reacts and questions you right away.
Welshite 40
You're that idiot who talks about bombs in the airport. I feel sorry for your parents.
Dimps94 9
Ditto
JMichael 26
Yea he's a smart one alright..as serious as our society takes things like that these days it's no wonder your teacher reported it.
JazzHandsFML 28
*gets pulled over* just don't take my weed officer! yeah that guy
El_Boxeador 14
You better watch out 'cause your dad might be coming for you after that stunt lol.
Joshery 14
Serves you right
singafairytale 11
Why on earth would you think that's funny? I can think of so many reasons why it's not. The main one being because those children who ARE abused finally get the courage to tell someone and because of kids like you, no one believes them and thinks they're joking. You're an ass and YDI.
TheGolfGTI 24
You have to be careful with your jokes OP, they can either hit or miss.
immaloser95 28
Jokes about domestic abuse are always a total miss.
TheGolfGTI 24
My apologies.
brand125 17
people are sensitive
Laylette 21
That's something you do with your friends, not a teacher who's legally obligated to report anything s/he thinks is suspicious.
smithv171 17
Don't see how this would be a good idea anyways as you probably made your teacher feel uncomfortable and they have to report things like this. YDI