Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, after months of health problems and my boyfriend offering unsolicited advice that mostly boiled down to "eat meat, take vitamins", I finally followed his suggestions to prove that he was wrong. It's a week later and I feel better than I have in years. He's never going to let this go. FML
Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
Today, I tried a new medicine in hopes that it would stop my stomach from constantly growling. Turns out, my body can either digest loudly, or not at all. I’ve been full for three days after one regular-sized meal. FML
Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Today, despite not eating for a week, my digestive system is still overflowing with gas and I fart every 2 minutes. No medicines help, and the six doctors I’ve been to have not been able to find anything wrong with me. FML
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Top comments
ActionFearo 39
Talk to said doctor and get enzyme supplements. Orrr create animal shaped vege products and call it a day.
skittyskatbrat 19
Your body should start producing them again, eventually. Until then, your body will have a beef with you.
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Comments (147)
ThinkF4LL65 3
thats because you arent orginally made to digest meat.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
Yes we are. Human beings are omnivores. (evolved to eat both plant and animal tissue) The whole purpose for canine teeth is eating meat.
jackycat 17
If that's true then why is it complicated for humans to get all our required proteins without eating meat? Wouldn't it be super easy and uncomplicated to have a totally vegan or vegetarian diet and still be really healthy. I don't know about your magical world, but in mine both are difficult life choices that take commitment and planning for every single meal to keep yourself healthy.
Nyx7 24
Our mouth structure begs to differ
Gmoney12 18
My dear friend, Australopithecus Afarensis aka "Lucy" was the last humanoid to specifically eat plants only. Since then, we have evolved smaller teeth and masseter muscles (along with the use of fire) to eat cooked meat as our primary source of protein and fat, both vital to human survival. Meat-eating is one of the reason we still don't look like chimpanzees. Source: anthropology course which I have to wake up for in 4 hours.
Gmoney12 18
Canine teeth were originally used for fighting and scaring enemies from our pre-humanoid era, such as how they are used still by chimpanzees and gorillas. They just shrunk like the rest of our teeth, but functioned to tear meat off the bones before the use of fire to cook food (around 5-6 Mya).
brand125 17
12 - i dont know what kind of animal you are then
Frammy007 7
To paraphrase Mean Girls, #12 is too stupid to function. Please do not reproduce; you will most likely kill your child by accidental malnutrition, or by giving them a toaster to play with in the bath-tub...you seem that stupid.
Rababco 29
We're omnivores, meaning we are designed to eat and digest meat. What our bodies aren't designed to digest is chemicals and hormones, which is in much of our food, not just meat.
jackycat 17
Jello is a pretty good way to ease back into eating meat. My friend in high school probably ate four giant bowls worth a day for several weeks when he was switching. The other friend had eaten so much cheese the entire time she was a very poor vegetarian that she had zero issues going back to meat.
ahippienamedrae 10
You know what jello is made of, right?
Gunguy 11
Do you know? Jello ie; gelatin is ground up bone marrow. So yes starting slowly with jello would help.
sunnyray812 42
I don't know why #19 is getting thumbed down. Jello seems like a pretty good starter for the body if you're eating meat again. Even if doesn't work, it is worth a try.
orbit 22
I agree jello would help, but why did he mention the cheese?
doodlecloud 27
I suppose cheese has lots of fats that come from animals....although it isn't animal itself, maybe it reacts similar in the stomach or something or isn't as far away from meat as just eating pulses? I have no idea why that makes someone a bad vegetarian. Vegan, sure, but not veggie. Some cheese has animal rennet but most is fine.
bombielol 20
that why you stick to meat.
Nyx7 24
Now See this is one more reason you should eat meat, we have steak for a reason
Tthug 34
And bacon.
lil_ham1644 29
Bacon is very unhealthy. It's also disgusting
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Oh get a grip. Yes, it's unhealthy. So? You can eat it every once in a while, no need to deprive your body of unhealthy things. Just eat them in moderation. I also find it ironic that your username is "Lil ham." Lol.
Nyx7 24
Bacon creates happiness, happiness reduces stress, Less stress means better health, therefore bacon is healthy
ForFudgeSake 6
Yeah, cocaine relieves my stress. Ergo, cocaine is healthy (with your logic).
Nyx7 24
Well 109 if you're on cocaine I wouldn't trust logic to be a sound factor in the first place...bacon is a food, not a drug
schwaka 17
I suppose you could have healthy cocaine use. Probably not the easiest thing, but doable in moderation.
NiceGuysDoWin 21
Actually, cocaine (generally in liquid form) and cocaine derivatives are still used by some medical practices.
redneckpride 8
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak
jackycat 17
I'm surprised it took this long for that pun. Bravo!
lil_ham1644 29
And your comment makes you sound like an ignorant twat.
mattrd_fml 31
continue to eat meat. Your stomach no longer produced the enzymes because you no longer needed it. Continue to eat meat and your stomach will start producing it again.
MitunaCaptor 17
Be careful switching back, eating something too heavy or large may put you in more pain than that sandwich. Eating small amounts as well as some other things containing protein and such may help as well to jump start your enzymes.
OneToughChick 13
I was a vegetarian for 6 years. My advice is start small with maybe some fish. Small amounts of it. As your body starts creating. The enzymes you can start eating more.
suri23 11
Why would your Dr. tell you to eat meat again? There are usually work arounds to nutritional issues. Maybe talk to Dr. about trip to nutritionist?
lil_ham1644 29
Good advice. Meat actually is not a cure for anything. As long as you eat healthy, being vegetarian is very beneficial and rewarding.
littlekellilee 45
My friend had to switch back because he wasn't getting the right amount of nutrients and he wasn't absorbing enough by taking pills or substitutes. He was doing vegetarianism correctly, his body just disliked it. It's not for everyone.
EvilLittleMan 23
OP I hope things improve for you, especially the air quality around you.