Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
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Top comments
xNatsuki 0
Your sister is so cute. YDI for bragging.
Say_hi 0
Lol! That is funnier than crap. Poor you. :P
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Comments (265)
Tikababy 0
I think its kind of silly to put that kind of pressure on sex. Finding the perfect person and situation... The right time in your life... Odds are YOU will find your "perfect person" and they will have just found their "next person" or their "good enough for awhile person" though, they'll tell you that you're "the one". Never believe that. They're probably lying. Its sex. It feels good. Do it. Be responsible. Have fun. Sex will likely be the highlight of many good stories, parties, and life in general. DONT BE STUPID. I'm not saying go sleep with everyone. But dont treat sex like it should only be some special thing shared between two people that are in love. Um... HI, HEY, HELLO! Welcome to life. This is where all the adults hang out. Life is shit. Sex will help you cope. Use condoms and birth contol. Have a good time. Make it girl or guy talk with your friends worthy. Calm down. It's very good exercise. Don't believe it's everything you want it to be or think it will be. You will probably be very disappointed. Live a little. Dont be so uptight. Go meet Mr. or Ms. Could Be Mr. or Mrs. Perfect. I'm sorry, I just couldnt imagine being 22 and a virgin. I'm 22 now. I would've killed myself or others by now without sex. eff that.
bossybanks 0
lmaoooo y were u bragging? nothin fun about that lmao ydi!
tahiti1212 0
IT seems that boys are more subjected to ridicule on being virgins when there teens ;... but girls aren't as made fun of, like the only people usually pressuring u iis the boy,,, but the boy has his friends ,,, cousins , brothers., sometimes own fatherr ,, encouraging him to do some girl
friduh 0
props too your little sister thats ******* funny
cinnomonroll 0
lol!
Brendan3693 0
lol. that's all that can be said. lol
Chocolate_Chunk 2
you're probably one of the 14 year olds that can't control their volume on the phone. If so, you deserved that and more, like STDs. If not, well, you still deserved it for bragging
femke 3
HAHAHAHA OMGGG PORE YOU!!! :D '' butt still its hylarious!!! "
iPunchedBigFoot 5
It's under the chair OP.
iwuvmydime 2
that is adorable lol