Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. Then I found another note on a can that said, "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML
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Top comments
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
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Comments (172)
addictinsane 0
HAHAHAHAH, you totally deserved it.
trollskitroll 0
Karma's a bitch
ananamoose 0
smooth move xlax, get it because when you poop it comes out really smooth and easy instead of all hard and hurting
thatwasobvious 0
****** deserved it. im sure there was some other drink available. if someone goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to tell you not to do something you might generally do otherwise, pay attention. annoying as hell when my stuff is just gone because someone decided my snack would be best in their stomach.
humorizer 14
At least you didn't steal her soap and walk out in the rain?
100lol 0
You know, someone created something named the sink, providing FREE WATER.
Sorrel 0
Do you not pay water bills? Tap water is not free, but it is very cheap. It costs like .003 dollars per gallon, but it is not free. Anyway, YDI for being a dumbass. How could you not taste it??
cherrypieguy 0
THIS FML ISNT WORTH TROLLING. YDI
HahaYDI 0
I am surprised that you had enough time to go online and type this out, you must have ran straight for the bathroom as soon as you submitted this lol
f_my_effing_life 0
ewww. and #30: ew, really? you had to write that? u thought none of us couldve figured that out without you explaining that?! thought so.
jessicax0 0
owned.
Plumppotato 3
to #85, i couldnt figure that out. and i thank him for explaining it.
xOpheliacx 0
#75, well you dont necessarily taste the laxatives. I had a colonoscopy recently, and I couldn't taste the stuff the doctor told me to get at all. but yeah. OP, you definitely deserved it.
f_my_effing_life 0
#153... i dont like u O_o
ananamoose 0
to 153 your welcome, anytime, to this bitch that said she didn't like you, she is an inconsiderate **** who, cares only of herself and her riches, to her we are mere peasents and that my friend is not even worth trying to change, and with that let the horses race
f_my_effing_life 0
wow, way to be a drama queen. i was just joking about that, if u didnt notice. maybe take some time from pointing out the obvious to recognize how people are talking and dont bitch out on them all the time. and stop it with the stereotypes. and dont start assuming things and trying to make yourself sound smart. YOU'RE NOT.
giganticbrain 0
I agree with ananamoose. You use the letter "u" to much in replace for the word "you", a common sign that you are somebody I hate.
f_my_effing_life 0
sorry. its just an old habit. oops. but please dont judge me because of the way i type.
Josato 0
Depends where you are. My family get free water as we live in the country side, and I get free water at my flat because I am a student.
brutal_banger 10
everyone ignore 153 she just tries to sound smart but with a picture like that? cries for attention tryin to say "hey I'm fun yay" but hey that's just how I type remember her words! don't judge haha now u can't bitch at me or you'll be a hypocrite
Ninja666_fml 0
u mean 172?
gunnar7240 0
I agree with 172 the rest of you are retarded.
TheBananaTheif 0
hiiiii. you said to leave a message:P
astriofou 0
I Dont Like You Either! :3
duke56924903 11
Guys... Don't feed the trolls.
kelsey_drives 0
lol, idiot.
Enchiladattack 12
I guess you could say shes in... DEEP SHIT
rickster470 0
YDI you dumb shit.
Darthbane2007 19
YDI. You couldn't get water or something?
SomeonePosting 0
That's what I thought. Just drink from the tap!
summer99 0
i know right? if it said "don't drink" i dont understand why you couldnt just get some water.
callmesillyxxx 1
lmfaooo @ ***** friends lmaooo!!! made my day
pinky0090 0
Have fun in the bathroom dipshit.
afallingstar 22
you said shit...
badluckalex 23
#197 deserves a nobel prize
SocialAmethyst 20
Damn Straight.
swallowthehurt 0
next time listen to your mommy.
therealmike 0
Maybe this will teach you not to steal other people's stuff. Probably not though.
Enryu 0
Yes, right that makes so much sense Ii meanIi put lemonades with laxatives in my freezer all the time instead of mixing it just into ONE glass whenIi am about to drink it. Because you know one of these timesI'mmgoing to throw a partyy with those many people and someone will be like: HEY! come on lets all drink laxatives!Hey, doo you have a jug full of it? TheI i can say: Why yes of coursI i have! FAKE!
midnightm16 24
Ever known someone who had a colonoscopy? You drink a jug full of laxatives before going in. Don't comment on something you know nothing about.
wysegirl 24
Do research before posting ignorant comments. You drink about a gallon of liquid and a bottle of laxatives.. not a joke and not fake.
hotdayum15 0
LOL You totally deserved it! xD
ravenscorne 0
heard this one before. I mean jeez, if you want to steal an old story, at least use one that is like WAY old so that people can't recognize it right off the bat.
keoct 4
Meh... shit happens...
Payno55 0
oh the irony in that statement.