Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
Defiant47 0
I love doing that to my friends too!
ckin2u 5
Bad timing :(
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Comments (188)
jhon316 0
wow now i bet ull be called gay for the rest of ur life and wow just dont turn gay because of ur mom just dont lid=sten to her geez i hate parents like that sori man hope u have a better life still
gaydolfclitler 0
I would have totally pulled off a "thats what she said"
drake_p 0
oh goodness. that's hilarious. fyl indeed.
MadeOfAwesome 1
Lmao, honestly I would've laughed so hard if I was you after your friend said that :D
rotf_coaster_9 0
lol this sounds like something my father and I do, he accuses me of heavy drug use, and I blatantly confess, then we both laugh and it makes everyone else around us uncomfortable...especially the random friends I have over when such conversations ensue :) do that with my brother too...
manoverboard 0
I bet they both planned this. xD
blueknight1st 26
Look at it this way, at least that didn't happen when you were being dropped off for wrestling practice. I'm sorry but any sport where you have to get into the doggy style sex position with another man is not gay, it's super gay.
Theguybehindyou 0
maybe your friends gay...
DameGreyWulf 1
Well... at the very least... Your mother thinks you're on top? That's not ... so bad... I suppose... lol Such bad timing indeed.
mel322 0
hhhahaha lmao thats funny! sux that ur mom thinks ur gay though