Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Defiant47 0
I love doing that to my friends too!
ckin2u 5
Bad timing :(
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
InspiredByGaGa 8
Homophobia sucks, but that is pretty hilarious.
iheyman 0
YDI it's obvious when your gay and when your not. So if she has some doubt that your gay, your gay. So YDI for not being honest.
bigbadnews122 0
EPIC!!!! awesome!
AXavierB 1
How is it obvious when someone's gay? Unless they explicitly say they like other men, I can't tell a gay guy from a straight guy unless he's deliberately going out of his way to make it obvious.
unhacked21 0
dude, mother knows best. plus, remember the saying...someone calls u horse, you walk away. they call u a horse again u punch them in the nose, they call u a horse a 3rd time, well, start looking for a saddle. but in ur case, by saddle, i mean condom...get to it butt pirate
f_me247 0
YOU HIT HIM HARD LAST NIGHT-------WITH YOUR FAVOURITE SOCCER *BALLS*
yowzerz 5
LMAO!! Your mom needs to just realize that all high school boys are gay, even when they're not. EVERY high school boy acts a little gay with their friends. Eff your mom for being so uptight and homophobic.
hockeyfan147 0
ha ha that is ******* halarious
Ashayu 0
Wow, that's just... it sucks, but it's too ******* funny, sorry.
chicadominicana 0
LMFAO oh wow
tatu4life 0
HAHAHAHAHA