Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying, "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glanced over and saw my brother's hot friend, who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then heard my mom say, "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
Defiant47 0
I love doing that to my friends too!
ckin2u 5
Bad timing :(
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Comments (188)
ManicGypsy 22
That's what she said.
livingdeath 0
I just saw someone made a comment about rugby being gay? Coed touch leagues, man. The tagging area is from the waist to the knees. Do with that what you will.
Tchernov9 0
Just cause he has a pink bandana and is shirtless and said, "Man you hit me hard last night." doesn't mean he's gay of bandana and shirtless, and he is obviously meaning the child punched his friend a bit too hard last night. Now if this is reverse then I don't know what to say, but your mom is wierd for assuming things out of no where.
girlwhoactshigh 0
hey look at it this way you have options ^^ You can be gay and not worry or be straight or force yourself to be straight :o or maybe your mom was just messin around like your friend or you should lay off the beer XD (Bad joke i know)
girlwhoactshigh 0
hey look at it this way you have options ^^ You can be gay and not worry or be straight or force yourself to be straight :o or maybe your mom was just messin around like your friend or you should lay off the beer XD (Bad joke i know) My bro did that to his freind XD I laughed hard
Struedelmuffin 0
Fag.
kmgentil 0
ur moms probably gay, so she's accusing other people of being gay 2 cover it up
flybye 0
Bitch
justmyluck1212 0
damn, if I didnt know any better i'd say every other guy
madglover 0
You shouldn't have had gay sex with your friend then
sublime93 0
Uh sounds too convenient too be true, like something out of a sitcom