Today, I was walking towards a party where I knew my cheating ex would be. I passionately rehearsed how I would have a go at him big time when I met him. Guess who was walking right behind me and heard it all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML
Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML
Today, I went to meet a guy that i had already started to be involved with at a bar. We laughed, kissed and had a great time, until he admitted he was just doing all of this to make his ex-girlfriend jealous. Guess who was waiting for me outside. FML
Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML
Today, wanting to get revenge at my ex for and the woman he cheated on me with, I invaded their wedding during the ceremony and objected to their marriage, laying out all the facts about how they started their nasty relationship built on betrayal. I was thrown out by security as they laughed at me. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my friends when I saw my ex. I instinctively tried to hide by quickly turning around and walking into a store. It was a mirror. I walked straight into my own reflection. FML
Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML
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Top comments
Jessj958 19
Next time, rehearse it silently, in your head, so no one hears you. I bet you were embarrassed!
SeepingSarcasm 7
Why would you want to risk spoiling a bunch of peoples mood at a party just to ''have a go'' at your ex? You should change your attitude, no one likes an attention seeker. If you don't, you are bound to have a few more exes in the future.
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Comments (75)
Jessj958 19
Next time, rehearse it silently, in your head, so no one hears you. I bet you were embarrassed!
uhhSavage 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think maybe the point is that he wasn't cheating because he wasn't at the party.
AllieCat21 21
47, he's her ex.... I think you missed it completely.
BarakatsBurrito 7
47, that's what I'm thinking...
Axipiter 24
47 - Feel that breeze...?
SillyGirl4602 23
47- read the fml again.
Coop817 19
That's why it's best to enjoy yourself for a while then let the liquor do the talking
Pleonasm 36
This relationship sounds so dysfunctional already. Passive-aggressive behaviour, no real resolution to problems, lack of communication, cheating, presumptions. ALl the makings for a bad future. Why don't you guys talk this out?
igive 29
They broke up. No point now, she's just holding a grudge.
Pleonasm 36
Woops, completely missed that. Feel free to rehearse how you guys will have a go at me big time.
ICastillo 25
Man that Pleonasm guy never reads the stories right, always putting funny comments making me look bad. I just want to thumb down all his comments. *look back* Oh uh hey Pleo I was just joking man...
PenguinBitch 44
Wouldn't have said it better Castillo. Don't get me started with that crusty hair and mustache. ughhhhh, sometimes I just wanna get scissors and cho......he's right behind me isn't he? I...I'll just excuse my self out.
Pleonasm 36
Crusty?
ICastillo 25
I think Head n Shoulders can fix crusty....
andyyroxx 20
Nope, that one might need some CLR... Hope Pleonasm didn't hear that.
perdix 31
1. Manti Te'o's girlfriend? 2. Lance Armstrong? 3. "Fiscal" Cliff? (He's gotten a lot less face time since the government fix their money problems.) These are my guesses. OP, am I right and what is my prize?
Pleonasm 36
You'd have to have some balls to talk about Lance Armstrong behind his back, that guys pretty dope. Oh. No. I. Didn't.
perdix 31
#9, you'd just have to have one to keep it fair ;)
TheChiver 7
Whenever you are feeling down about your lives just think to yourself, "Lance Armstrong and I have the same amount of Tour de France titles."
igive 29
Did you have a twix bar by chance?
laya_fml 26
After hearing that, he ex probably had some snickers.
untouchable763 10
You can't rehearse things in your head?
MuseFan1991 14
which is why i always rehearse my conversations in my head
Bluekaren16 19
Or in the shower.
Werken247 14
I do something else in the shower.
Enslaved 38
Singing in shower to Billy Squire's "The Stroke"?
HelloSirs 14
@29 Clean soapscum off the walls? Refluff loofas? Adjust the temperature and angle of the spray?
SeepingSarcasm 7
Why would you want to risk spoiling a bunch of peoples mood at a party just to ''have a go'' at your ex? You should change your attitude, no one likes an attention seeker. If you don't, you are bound to have a few more exes in the future.
SillyGirl4602 23
I agree. There's always that one girl at a party that needs attention and starts drama. He's her ex. She needs to get over him.
kut17 11
I give up. Who was walking right behind you and heard it all? Your therapist?
Werken247 14
Jesus? eh... what would he do anyways?
aly_pinay22 8
That's when you just punch him in the face and run! Jk! Don't think both scenarios would have made you feel any better. The real revenge is moving on and finding someone else who treats you right.
Satoaoi 13
right lol