Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML
Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
ajeppsen 25
Talk about a hard hitting news story.
baseballbv 17
I guess you didn't need to read the headlines. You got to experience them.
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Comments (75)
ElricMustang 23
I wouldn't have thought it would hurt that much, especially to give you a black eye. Gotta watch out for those things now, OP :x
saba_ajira 29
If you go out every morning "looking out for those things" like getting hit by a newspaper, you're a pretty paranoid guy...
NeatNit 33
this sounds like a story that ALL the other papers are going to want to print. :)
sayyestothedress 24
I thought OP would get paper cuts on her eyelid.
incoherentrmblr 22
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a news paper. Stay classy Australia...
ElricMustang 23
How do I get thumbed down for thinking that newspapers wouldn't hurt enough to give a black eye? Lol
ajeppsen 25
Talk about a hard hitting news story.
Ksweety_fml 27
Damn! Look at your profile.
hondajason72280 10
yours should have been 1st lol
Garrett2818 21
"This just in"... Your face!!!
ohSNAPyall 27
He would have been first, but he got scooped.
NatsuD_fml 13
Its a new thing Hollywood is trying out NEWS in 3D, coming to a driveway near you.
baseballbv 17
I guess you didn't need to read the headlines. You got to experience them.
PeopleLikeGrapes 12
Damn, that sucks OP, try to put raw steak on it?
domolovesyoshi 33
don't do that it's disgusting and a waste of steak
Enslaved 38
I heard pineapple works better than a raw steak.
NeatNit 33
pineapples, unpeeled. definitely better.
ginger196 14
Paper boys ho around in cars now? Back in my day there were bicycles
MichellinMan 20
"Back in my day" aren't you fourteen?
briang959 47
Good observation.
thefmlman2011 37
it's different in Australia, when I was a paper boy, I walked mine, and would only use the car when it was raining, or REALLY hot in the summer.
Enslaved 38
"I want my two dollars!"
Cristian89 29
14 year olds be like "I remember the 90's!"
izntdan 14
I use to throw a news paper. My paper route was about 150 miles so you had to use a car
False_Stupidity 42
Age in profile could be fake...
awesomeamandas 37
#5 paper boys have been using cars for their routes longer than you've been alive. and you're still a kid, this is your day.
SpreadTHEKILLER 14
Damn, that must have been a large wad of paper to cause that. Hope you get better though.
chinaski7628 32
It was a newspaper. So, yes, it was a big wad of paper.
naajster 14
talk about bad news
blake1015 24
I bet it'd make quite the headline.
pureportedpear 27
Maybe he just wanted you to SEE an article..
spatula232 25
Sounds more like a tosser to me
TheSwegMaster69 11
I think he was more of the lobbing kind.
AWiseChicken 9
Bitch be throwin'
briang959 47
Be thankful it's not Sunday when the papers are nice and thick.