Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
UmmOkThen 31
You guys can have something in common now.
EatUrGreens 20
Hope you had enough bags to clean the mess lol and thankfully you got away too :)
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Comments (65)
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Your dog was leashed, correct? Unless you're tiny or he's enormous, pulling on the leash hard enough would make him move. And if you were walking an unleashed dog, then I kind of feel like you deserved it, since he clearly isn't very well trained if he didn't move when you told him to, and an untrained dog needs to be leashed.
mukduk 21
I highly doubt the dog wasn't leashed. There are many types of dogs that are difficult to move by tugging on their leash, especially when they choose a place to do their business. Besides, you can only pull so hard.. It is wrapped around their neck and all.
Thorzix 23
the fact it is wrapped around their necks is the VERY reason they're going to move if you pull hard enough, a dog would rather follow than choke.
blackonblight 33
Ha! I've seen some stubborn dogs nearly suffocate themselves trying to get to see that person across the street look right there I'll rip your arm out of the socket if I have to lemme go see the person! Goddamn golden retrievers.
SpriteAndBananas 14
YDI for not training your dog
turtles4life 24
For not training his/her dog to do what? Stop pooping on command while he's already in the process of doing so? This isn't a lack of training thing, it's not OP's fault. Just an unlucky situation.
iwadasn 33
Training has nothing to do with it. It's very difficult for a dog to move when it's in mid-poop.
shiffizzle 13
At least you're alive OP
chikinscratch00 8
That's a shitty situation to be in. lol op
RebeccaRFT 18
That's when you ditch your dog and get tf outta there
badgercheese94 16
They say dogs look like their owners, but they usually don't mention how owners shit like their dogs!
barneyisawesome_fml 9
This story is a load of dogshit.
RedPillSucks 33
so your dog was making social,commentary about the argument?
sprints54 19
When you gotta go you gotta go
LadyKayDee 23
The dog was also scared. He shag himself you see. lol
jewelia13 12
You mean "shat", not "shag". ;)