Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband has been messaging younger girls on Tinder and trying to meet up. I asked him why he would do such a thing when we have a healthy sex life. His response was ,“They’re just hotter, just like that senior football player you cheated on me with in sophomore year high school.” We’re 40 now. FML
Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to, "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML
Today, I learned that my ex married the girl he cheated on me with and started a family. I’m still single at 30 years old - Five years after that relationship ended. I still live at home and I’ve gained so much weight from the depression that guys find me repulsive. Glad to know my ex did so much better. FML
Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML
Today, after looking back at our high school photos, I told my fiancée I’ve been scared lately that I’m getting uglier with age, and that I was much prettier back then. He got really quiet, and then agreed with me.. I’m only 24. FML
Today, my ex said I had a lot in common with his new girlfriend. His new, grossly overweight, college drop-out, clinically depressed, constantly pot-smoking girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
Today, my friends were criticizing me, a 36 year-old man hitting on a 22 year-old I met at a bar. I brought up that she’s a consenting adult. One of them responded, “Dude, the year she was born, you were old enough to jerk off and your voice was dropping… isn’t that a turnoff for you?” FML
Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked, "Are those your grandchildren?" I'm in my 40's. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Which is why he should stay your ex.
drayloon 50
You're only as old as who you are inside I mean, on the inside
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Comments (67)
itswhitneybitch 22
Mid-life crisis at its finest. Sorry, OP!
WaltzingPhanthom 23
I saw this same FML in the random section!!!
JMichael 26
Which is why he should stay your ex.
drayloon 50
You're only as old as who you are inside I mean, on the inside
thespiantess 18
That was smooth. I tip my hat to you, sir.
extremereviews 26
Was it a gay relationship? Your profile says you're a male
CurvyisCool 22
If it is who cares?
Greenteamextreme 16
What a dickface...
The_Avatar 22
You have an awesome bio number 5
khorstmye 15
Are you the daughter of Dr. Evil? Lol
CurvyisCool 22
There is a reason he is your EX.
SamSwebb 24
Oh god that's horrible, maybe better of not knowing... At least he is your ex though
SlowDownImaNoob 20
What I don't get is, why even continue to talk to your ex? Certainly you could have found something else better to occupy your time.... Like making flapjacks.
Setareh23 34
Maybe they have young kids and are trying to keep the acquaintance civil for their sake? Maybe they work together or have mutual friends? Maybe they had ended the relationship well (though I'm sure with what happened, that's about to change)? Maybe they split up recently and have to get through a bunch of legal stuff together? There are tons of reasons why it might be so :P
immaloser95 28
According to OPs username and gender, he's a guy without kids. So obviously kids are out of the picture, and divorce might be too. (I'm assuming because he could have said ex-husband instead of ex) You can leave a relationship mutually and on a good note. Who knows, maybe OP is talking to his ex because he still likes him On a side note. Flapjacks sound great.
Setareh23 34
Oh wow, good catch, I hadn't even noticed that! I still wouldn't automatically rule out the husband part though, who knows, it could have been just to keep the FML as short and sweet as possible. In any case, I just find it annoying that people who end badly with their ex feel the need to criticize people who keep a good relationship with theirs. I mean, some people have been friends with their ex for years, try dating for a few months, and it doesn't work out. If they are still on friendly terms, I don't why people feel they should suddenly stop talking to each other. I guess every case is different though :P
Kyze_Ninja 10
I could guarantee he probably doesnt have kids as apparently hes gay
photographer49 22
Not everyone breaks up on bad terms with their exes. I know alot of people who are still good friends with their exes.
Enslaved 38
What a slap in the face! I understand that you're no longer together but it's like he's bragging that he cheated on you. Dick move on his part.
Eyalsh 32
being a man, i can tell yo
netflixislove 32
Good thing your not together anymore