Today, while talking with my ex, I mentioned I was depressed about turning 40. He said he'd been depressed about turning 40 as well, until he started screwing hot 20-somethings. We were still together when he turned 40. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my husband has been messaging younger girls on Tinder and trying to meet up. I asked him why he would do such a thing when we have a healthy sex life. His response was ,“They’re just hotter, just like that senior football player you cheated on me with in sophomore year high school.” We’re 40 now. FML
Today, I was texting my friend. He has a history of depression, which we were talking about, and somehow, he turned the conversation to, "If we ever broke up, I would kill myself." I didn't even know we were even going out. FML
Today, I learned that my ex married the girl he cheated on me with and started a family. I’m still single at 30 years old - Five years after that relationship ended. I still live at home and I’ve gained so much weight from the depression that guys find me repulsive. Glad to know my ex did so much better. FML
Today, I found out the boyfriend of 2 years is actually 22 years-old instead of the 28 that he told me. I'm turning 39 this year and I'm very pregnant. FML
Today, after looking back at our high school photos, I told my fiancée I’ve been scared lately that I’m getting uglier with age, and that I was much prettier back then. He got really quiet, and then agreed with me.. I’m only 24. FML
Today, my ex said I had a lot in common with his new girlfriend. His new, grossly overweight, college drop-out, clinically depressed, constantly pot-smoking girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out the 28-year-old I am dating is actually 48. FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
Today, my friends were criticizing me, a 36 year-old man hitting on a 22 year-old I met at a bar. I brought up that she’s a consenting adult. One of them responded, “Dude, the year she was born, you were old enough to jerk off and your voice was dropping… isn’t that a turnoff for you?” FML
Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked, "Are those your grandchildren?" I'm in my 40's. FML
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Top comments
JMichael 26
Which is why he should stay your ex.
drayloon 50
You're only as old as who you are inside I mean, on the inside
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Comments (67)
FemskyD 26
?atleast he shared the cure!
nitrog100 21
C'est la vie, OP. At least marriage equality will probably be nationwide in the next 2 years...You know, glass half full...
Saraishi 25
What a douchebag! You're better without him, OP.
zykrithium 22
He's your ex for a reason
ljay72 4
Thats a good reason for him being a ex right?
KittehFreak 25
I hope you mean ex... Oh, wait. Nevermind. Carry on.
Fou_Lou 20
How your ex said it doesnt necessarily mean your ex cheated on you.
HighasaCloud 46
"Until" doesn't mean 'immediately.' He could have been depressed the entire time between turning 40 and being single again. Don't jump to conclusions.
The_Markinator 5
at least he's your ex
Micheal23 19
Good thing he's your ex