Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
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Top comments
Aquaman911 18
She should respect your decision, men don't want to have sex all the time with anyone!
CanyonRose 16
Fyl but your mom is a savior in the weirdest way. Unless you are gay then your mom is still savior.
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Comments (110)
chadermcchaf 16
Not even a waterfall could quench her thirst
MegasaurusRex89 28
That's when you say, very loudly and for the restaurant to hear, "$500 is too much for one night! I'm not interested!" That'll teach her to bug you. ;)
R3TROxLOV3 32
It would also make OP look bad too. He'd be announcing to the room that he was attempting to buy a prostitute.
MegasaurusRex89 28
Well he'd have to be committed and not care what strangers think about him. I still think it'd be worth it just for her reaction. Plus, idk how many people would actually believe he's trying to buy a prostitute with his parents sitting right in from of him.
badmandilon 19
#29 I don't think OP is that kind of a person, since he's with his parents and he was trying to be polite. That lady was wrong from any angle.
hoopgrug 5
Pretty sure you rent prostitutes, not buy them.
skittyskatbrat 19
Nah... "I don't care if you only charge $20, I will not have sex with you." Really insultingly low.
Scarylizard1798 23
What a ladies man
ZackFev 6
Cougars I tell ya
LittleChestnut_fml 8
You should have called the owner of the establishment or a manager over. It is not okay for anyone to do something like that, and she should have been given a clear lesson on that. You shouldn't have to say you are gay to get out of unwanted advances.
10th_doc 9
ι agree coмpleтly
interesting33 37
That is massive sexual harassment and awful!! So she couldn't take no for an answer unless you were gay? That is awful.
cjmedic 12
So... Are you really gay?
SarcasticShade 16
I don't think he is because he said his mother had to convince her. Surely if he actually was he would have either mentioned it or he would have convinced her he was instead of his mom.
cjmedic 12
I reread the FML. Sounds like he isn't. Feel free to downvote. *hangs head in shame*
allykaymorris 24
That's rather ballsy. Maybe it was a dare from her friends? Hopefully... Otherwise that's quite desperate.
Sakuraashita 15
Look at it this way, you'll probably never see that weird woman again, but you'll see your mom every day until you move out and then some, and now you know she's got your back! :)
vikky538 29
don't loose your self respect over those...
8born8 18
*Lose.