Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML
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Top comments
Aquaman911 18
She should respect your decision, men don't want to have sex all the time with anyone!
CanyonRose 16
Fyl but your mom is a savior in the weirdest way. Unless you are gay then your mom is still savior.
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Comments (110)
MissBehavin77 18
Would you have said yes if your parents hadn't of been right there?
Mortoli 30
Almost any man would have. Lol. Except married men of course.
Mortoli 30
Unless she like 50 then heck no. 40s maybe 30s definitely.
dammityou 10
while I'm over here, virgin at the age of 28 and not a single chance of that happening. **** you and FML
mangelon86 15
Where did you go eat??
jeanyrios 10
what the hell? And you are expected to be a gentleman?
skittyskatbrat 19
she's banking on him being a gentleman. If it happens again, I highly recommend he embarrass her if she won't back off and finish by getting the manager to remove her from the premises. Make sure others can hear him turn her down for sex. "I do not know you and, may I repeat, I will NOT accept your offer of sex. Once again, leave us alone so we can enjoy our dinner." Followed promptly by asking the next employee nearby to bring the manager.....
MidnaLink 35
I like how your mom stopped her. I don't like her needing to tell her you were gay to do it.
martin8337 36
If she was even kinda good looking, you should have gone for it. The old broad could have done things to you that have never been done to you before.
MidnaLink 35
You disgust me. You basically welcome sexual harassment.
martin8337 36
It's all about the nookie.
MidnaLink 35
Yeah, well maybe he'll welcome it from someone who'd not be the same age as mama.
8born8 18
#48, you are 51yrs old. So this "Old Broad" would probably be right up your alley. However, living surreptitiously through a young person by telling them to go for it, won't bring back your glory days.
MidnaLink 35
That was better than I could ever put it! You're awesome!
ostfaiz 18
God bless U n women!
Mike3258 18
of course the old bus I'm riding hits a bump when I'm trying to hit the fml button... ended up pressing the ydi... I'm sowwy
ldkindasucks 6
What a queer situation
demonfacee 14
That must've been really awkward.