Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was upset after a fight with my husband, so I cried alone in the bedroom. My 4-year-old son then comes in and hugs me. I thought he was trying to comfort me, but he then told me he had to go get his quarter my husband had promised to pay him if he made me shut up. FML
Today, when I got home from the store, the dog was wiping his ass on the carpet, my two older boys were brawling, my youngest was crying because he'd broken a glass and cut himself, and my husband was in the kitchen, eating the cake I'd told him to leave alone. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 8 year-old son down and gently explained to him that I had a miscarriage and he won't be having a little brother or sister after all. He responded by dancing around the room and celebrating. FML
Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML
Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML
Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML
Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML
Today, I accidentally hit my dad in the eye with our dead dog's squeaky toy. He cried. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
iAlissa 34
is his teddy bear made of solid brick?
MissKylie 24
How does a small child smash a TV with a teddy bear
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Comments (85)
mattyiscool123 26
Smashed it? Got a future pro athlete in the making
moniculkin 19
Wow your son has a good arm and aim.
ace13148 11
the tv lol
FailStaff 15
Who cries when their child walks and talks, of all reactions
kalbrek009 20
I might be somewhat upset about the broken tv, but I wouldn't cry about it...I'd definitely be more upset over the fact that I missed hearing my kid speak anything coherent & first steps. I got to see & hear my sibling's kids do those, & it was a joy for me (especially since I could never have kids myself). Your child's father is a man child if he cried about the tv & didn't care about speaking & walking of his kid.
rafoliv 4
What a baby! and I mean your husband.
hi87 4
I'm gonna call bullshit about the bear is that ok? Yes
shortcake18 15
Well that is one scary teddy bear I'm happy you didn't get it to the head.
SaintKarmali 1
wtf was that teddy made of?
SaintKarmali 1
wtf was that teddy made of? Lego's?