Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I was trying to find my phone. My friend found it, and instead of handing it to me like a normal person, he threw it at me. I'm terrible at catching stuff. It bounced off my arm and landed in his cup of Sprite. FML
Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
Today, I got short-changed for a 12-pack of Mountain Dew. but I let it slide, even though they charged me double. i get home and immediately the box exploded and all the cans went falling down a flight of wooden stairs onto concrete. Fourteen stairs. FML
Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
You shouldn't dew that again.
BOOSCAREDU 0
Why? How would you get a laugh from it?
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Comments (133)
leadman1989 16
Hey, throwing shit is FUN. Also hitting shit and blowing shit up. Look at the most popular sports in almost every country I rest my case. :)
alival 12
How would tossing a half empty can be amusing in any way?
irokyoursox 6
Wow you would be so badass by throwing it behind you
fuckthereaper 1
How is that even funny?
Strafeh 9
That's why I drink Dr. Pepper
jaderosaley 0
Obviously it was half full
DeadxManxWalking 27
Well you were leaving a football game...
CyonideCyns 0
Wow, now my friends and I throw apples at stuff to make them explode. But just randomly picking up a soda bottle and throwing it behind you? I don't see how that could be funny UNLESS it hit someone. And you deserve it for not throwing it in a garbage can like you should have.
LotsaLaughs 5
SCREW YOU JERKOFF!
Mourningstar 4
**** face, I KNEW it was you!!!!!